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How to Keep Hope in Severe Academia?

M

I am a first year in PhD and ended by being forced to quit although hard work day and night! But now I am kind of disappointed, I am now 27, I didnot create family, leaving home country and he problems in the past of my family that hugely affect on my mental health, I have OCD and some other health issues. Although every one almost admires my personality in presentating the work. However, I am now shocked, my dream was to good research that could help people really and being memorized even before leaving the this earth. But I found it doesnot look like that. When I was a little girl, I was telling my late mother, I dont want to be an ordinary person, I want to add this world, being important person.

However, I am writing these, I am burst in tears and deeply alone, I get suffered from complaining, so I forget to speak, I get used to keep every thing inside, I am afraid about my family as I am responsible, and I would like to make their life better, but may be the problem in me as I didnot do well like others, I thought I do something new and meaningful, but ended up by kicking out.

I would be grateful if someone tell me how I can overcome this period.

I think you need to focus on your mental health first OP. You have not failed. You have done so much already, you have achieved, you are not a failure. Just keep on keeping on and all will be ok x

I am ten years older than you and doing a PhD, it isn't too late. x

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