I am in my second year PhD and want to quit. A little background, I happened to get into PhD because I got a chance to get away from something and I got into it without much thinking. However, six months into this, I knew I am not into research and want to get away. I enjoyed my coursework but research, almost never. Being miles away from my friends and family (I'm an international student) to do something that's not enjoyable is wearing me down so I decided to quit.

However, I don't know how to say to my sup that I have decided to quit. I want to get a job and have been applying, both in this country and my home country. My sup is a native and he dislikes people of other nationalities working in his country. How he "had to" take me into his lab is a totally different story. Now i want to leave this without burning bridges, so that I could get a recommendation, if needed in future. However, If i say I am quitting this to take a job in this country he won't be happy especially since I am the first student in his lab to talk about quitting (our lab is new). He's been helpful regarding research work, but I don't especially say he's supportive. I don't expect his recommendation to be great as there hasn't been stellar performance from my side due to my lack of motivation in research and disinterest. However, my first year coursework grades are good.
My program doesn't let me exit with masters so essentially I either dump this year from my resume or perhaps enroll as transfer student in some other uni and get masters. Also my mom hasn't been supportive about me quitting but she doesn't exactly realize how this is taking a toll on me as I spend days crying in my bed.

How do I approach my prof with this news? And also convince my mom it's best?

hi kathy
People have different opinions of others working in their country, if your supervisor doesn't like foreign nationals, that is his problem, not yours.

If you are not happy with research and would like to quit, you should tell him so, because things are the way they are. You can't pretend to like something when you clearly don't.

At the end of the day, it is YOUR life.

Your mom will accept whichever decision you choose to make. Remember, again, it is your life, you are living your own path, not your mom's. You'll have to do the ONE EAR IN, ONE EAR OUT when she starts grumbling or scolding you, but that's normal. She wouldn't grumble and nag if she didn't love you (some parents can be like this!)

If you strongly believe you want to quit, you'll have to face up to telling your supervisor one day (sooner or later). If you speak to your supervisor (of your decision to quit) honestly and frankly, then that is all you can do, don't worry about burning bridges. If he can't handle it, that is his problem. You have to be clear and happy with yourself first.

Have an idea of what you may want to do--if you quit your phd. Look for an alternative, make sure it is what you want--and how you can proceed from where you are, and then only tell your supervisor abut quitting (if that's what you want to do)--and then inform your mom.

The easiet way for me to approach my professor is to make an appointment in his office and speak to him directly. I would start with, "I need to talk to you about my phd..."

About convincing your mom, you don't have to convince her about quitting. When you quit, you just quit. You are a capable and independent adult. I would imagine that it is easier for us to speak to our moms than our professors. I would go with "Mom, I need to tell you something about my phd. I've decided that research is not my thing, and I'm quitting. HOWEVER---I have other plans---" and then you tell your mom what alternatives you have.

Telling her about alternative plans will help her to understand that you are doing your best to steer your life in the direction that suits you. And whatever suits you, is usually good for you. Trust your heart.

don't worry, you'll be fine
love satchi