..actually this is about Husbands and boyfriends..
this is hardly PhD related but I'm sure there can be plenty of material in this topic for few PhD's. Why can't this breed of people express their feelings or ideas in any form ? verbal, written or ? When you ask "Just say what you think or feel abot X?" they will look at you like the third world war has strated in a good day with some form of expression and in bad days with the expression "am I m bothered? without even looking at the person who is talking" Please can male species explain the phenomena and females share their experiences.

Basically, I think women need to discuss their feelings a lot more than men. Because it is always in the media etc. that it is important to share your feelings and not "bottle things up" (which I agree with up to a point) I think a lot of women believe that because men don't need to talk about how they're feeling as much, they are somehow "dysfunctional". This is not the case.

The problem is exasperated by Girlfriends/Wives trying to "cure" their dysfunctional spouse by probing them for answers etc. I know this is how my relationship is, and I get irritated by always having to discuss how I am feeling and talk through how I can make myself happier. I am perfectly happy already and am capable of getting through small emotional dips without the need, or desire, to discuss things.

I find it very annoying that my girlfriend is totally tuned in to how I am feeling. If she senses any anger, sadness, frustration she is straight on my case. Usually this will only serve to irritate me further. If you want your boyfriend/husband to talk, then just make sure the communication channels are open and wait for him to come to you. Don't pester, because its not going to help. And don't think that if he just gets happy by himself without discussing anything with you that the plan has "failed". Its just that men don't always have to talk.

I don't think this is just something that guys do. I know for a fact I can be quite closed about things that bother me. My bloke often says I wont tell him if something is wrong but thats just the way I am, sometimes I don't want to talk about it and resolve it myself.

Sure, its not always men who won't talk (but probably more often than not). I think the problem is that it is drummed into us from so many places that in order to maintain a healthy disposition, we need to talk about things. This doesn't help the private, insular, deep thinkers like myself and H.

I know that the sanctuary of my brain is not somewhere where anyone else is always welcome. I am willing to give the odd guided tour as and when I see fit, but I am not happy to give anyone else a set of keys.