I am an international student. I love science and spend most of my time in the lab since I want to learn more and wanted to have a good career in academics. My first day in the lab was great, but from then on it is a terrible nightmare for years. The present work, when I started was new to me and I would ask questions and also try to help my lab-mates with their work so that I could learn, but every request I made to them to teach me was met with hostile remarks. My labbies have even yelled at me many times. I suffered this harassment for a while and when I could not take it anymore I decided to approach my advisor. However, then I realized that my labbies were back stabbing me for a very long time. I used to have a very cordial relationship with my advisor, but things have changed a lot now. I am not a person who gossips, but of recently I came to know that my labbies are spreading rumors about me right from the administration staff, graduate students, and also faculty members.

I believe in science, if you want to survive, then you should have a good name, like “he is smart researcher/ he works hard/he is a nice person”. I work really hard but this kind of derogatory gossips are hurting me and my career a lot.

I also tried requesting my labbies not to hurt me, but they would stop for a while and then resume the same.

I feel, if a person is hard working, subjectively smart, and really interested in science --- he would not survive; I think a trait of cunningness is really important. Unfortunately, I don’t have that trait to survive this humiliation. I am really straight forward, confident, and bold but due to all this meanness or jealousness it is hurting my confidence to approach people; currently I am rethinking my decision in academics.

I feel so hurt that people can be so wrong. They scold my advisor when he is not there, but when he is around, they are so nice to him.

Presently I am all by myself, rarely talk to my labbies (because any thing I talk to them, they would use it against me by modifying the meaning).

I feel so hurt that people can be so wrong. They scold my advisor when he is not there, but when he is around, they are so nice to him.

Presently I am all by myself, rarely talk to my labbies (because any thing I talk to them, they would use it against me by modifying the meaning).

You have all my sympathy Nocturnal. It was sobering to read your posts as I have had a somewhat similar experience during my PhD. I've had to endure the exclusion from training, harassment, spreading of rumours and backstabbing from the post-doc in my lab. There is not much you can do, and I refrained from taking the issue up with the university as I felt that rocking the boat would degrade the already strained relationship with my advisor even further. Like you I was somewhat forced into self-imposed isolation out of fear of more retribution. Although it's been mainly 1 person, the rest of the lab seems to be in SEP (somebody's else's problem) mode... and thus prefer to look the other way, if not side with the post-doc because it makes their life easier that way.

Unless it becomes really bad I'd suggest you concentrate on your work and try to ignore what's being done to you. The worst thing that you could do is to allow them to affect your work and productivity..

Thanks a lot Hitchhiker. I guess I am getting thick skinned. The other day we had a lab meeting and since I get carried away when I comes to science, I was discussing about how we can get quality publication about a particular work, if we added few more experiments. Guess what!! My labbie yelled in front of my advisor, I am not sure why, may be she is senior and may have got threatened by me.
I have decided I will not interact in lab meetings, but only will when I am presenting or my students are presenting..
Thanks once again..

Sorry to hear about this. I have had something similar with a colleague, but she could seem very charming when it suited her, and so often you were not believed when making complaints (or it looked like you were the one with the attitude problem).

Can you try to make friends with people in another lab? Just to give you some normal people to talk to (and maybe some good collaborative work may come of it).

But I would not keep quiet in meetings because of fear of what they might say. That is probably what they want: you are enthusiastic and bright, and they want to stifle that, because as you say, they see you as a threat. Too bad for them.

There's a good website with tips on how to deal with these idiots:

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/

I think you should focus more on your research and try other alternative for academic discussion. There's plenty (or maybe few) of research community on the web, where you can share and discuss your thought on certain subject. I also think lab politics is just a start before you advance further in your career as an academician. So, you should not worry much about the politics, you can't even run from it. The best way to deal with it. I've heard from my previous supervisor, academic politic is much worst than that, trust me.

they envy you too much, i guess

I had a very similar problem. I am so tired and exhausted. I need help.I am not able to work in that place I feel stuck. The prof is being extremely rude for no reason!

Staying out of lab politices depends upon whether you are the target of the backstabbing. During my PhD and first post-doc, I quickly gauged who was who's advesary and bar two occasions where I did lose it, managedto easily avoid these conflicts. There were two people I didn't get on with, however, as I did not work with them, I managed to avoid them almost completely. One of these people left shortly after I started, making the atmosphere more pleasant and as the other one locked himself away, he was not much of an issue. I got on with almost everyone else, so it was a very plesant 6 years at that Uni.

On my second post-doc, it was clear from day two I'd been hired as a "second choice", to "make do" with, a "stop gap measure", phases used by the senior professor who hired me. I was placed with a mentor whom I clashed with regularly and I was very much the target. I couldn't quit (no unemployment benefit if I did and quitting would hinder job hunting), so I had to see out a very uncomfortable year, after which I could claim unemployment benefit. I left without references making the search for a new job much harder.

My advice rests on how far into your work you are. If you have just started or are less than a year in, could you look for an alternative position at a different Uni. / lab and start again? However, whatever you do, do NOT quit until you have an alternative. If you are within a few months of finishing, I suggest you see out your period with this Uni. / lab - it isn't long and it will soon be behind you, which is the attitude I took with my second post-doc. In the meanwhile, I suggest you talk to the Uni. counselling service, who are used to advising on situations like this. They may give you advice on how to manage the situation.

However, you are not alone.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Hi,

I know how you feel - I too am an international student, and it can be hard when you're the "odd one out", the one that no-one understands due to language barrier and accent issues! This all aside from "politics" as well!

I also have had problems with someone senior to me in the lab; I had a few misunderstandings because of this person's odd use of English, and I was the one who got the flak for not clarifying what the person meant. In this case, there really is nothing you can do; the senior person can always pull rank on you, they probably have a longer relationship with the group leader, and in some cases you might need their help and experience. The best thing I would suggest is to try and keep your head down, get on with your work and speak to someone neutral in this, someone completely outside of science if necessary.

May I ask if there are other students you can talk to? You don't have to give them specifics or name names but I find just chatting about inane stuff calms me down when I am super stressed out.

xx

have tried to avoid dealing with the student that were causing problems to me but the student kept turning the others and my supervisor against me even the students that were aware of the issues and suffered from it themsleves. I start sensing unjustified resistance from others and delayed my work. I tried to talk to my department and to my advisor but things went worse and I got blamed for reporting the harassment I am living in the lab. The students that were nice and did get involved in these behaviours left the lab and were sorry for me, one said: I know the lab environment is so toxic that you can die. last year I struggled to work and focus I exhausted and have no energy or motivation to work, one of my colleagues that graduate said; it is not worth it doing a PhD here you dont deserve this, it is not because you are a nice person that they have to treat that way, even after 4 years you better leave this place, it is healthier for you, it is ok to start over!

I am now in a medical leave. I am doing my best to work on my data to get it published and get out of their but every time I try to work things out with my boss and I get an agreement about work not only he changes his mind but he express his unsatisfaction about a task that was not mine to do!

My academic advisor said she cannot help and she said my supervisor is not to be blamed and she kind of blamed me for my attitude!
I am very mad at this unfair situation body should be treated this way or experience this, there is a limit for misunderstanding and conflict and a student should have a minimum of work environment and dignity and be able to be left with a minimum of energy to do his work. I have friends they spend 7 years but didnt publish or get a PhD! and some others they changed labs many time during 5 years of PhD. My supervisor want me to do more animal work to graduate and he said he wont sigh my thesis!

I am after 4 years in my lab thinking to go for a grievence.

I totally agree with juno. We all know that the sciences are traditionally male dominated, and some men still think they can get away with treating women as objects. I suggest that you get in touch with your equality unit in order to let these men know that you can't be harassed. For a start, if you are in the UK you can ask your equality officer about getting promoted and moved to a different lab or unit. There are several schemes that may apply to you, the most commonly available being Athena SWAN. There's no need to take harassment from men these days.

Hope this helps :)