I submitted on Monday. I should be happy but I feel awful. I have been looking for work for 3 months and found out today that I failed another interview. I had 3 so far - one postdoc that I really wanted but didn't get and 2 that I could kind of see from the beginning of the interview that I wasn't suited for the job.

I am now eaten away by dread. I am not an outgoing person. I never did network and when I presented at conferences I got minimum exposure. Also, in many ways I didn't put 100% into my PhD.. Half way through, my parents were diagnosed with serious illnesses (one right after the other) - so the second part of my PhD was mostly done at home and with bare minimum of effort to get me over the line. I am not that surprised that I didn't get a postdoc in my department. I have to be honest - from what I showed them, I wouldn't have given myself a postdoc either.

I am under a lot of financial pressure because my parents can't work and I kept promising them that after PhD, I will find a good job and take care of them. I have now failed to deliver. I am very scared - I cry every day.

I went to my department and basically begged for some tutoring/marking work to earn some money. They gave me quite a lot - nearly a full time load so I will be financially OK for the next 3 months (semester). But then what?

I am also unsure of the right strategy. Is it time to start applying for non-research positions? I think I have to. I am now spending my days refreshing job sites. Celebrating submission of my thesis is far from how I feel.

Also this may be silly, but when I go to my university for tutoring stuff, people are constantly asking me if I found a job. Those are my peers that managed to secure post-docs at our (well now my former) department. It makes me feel even more as a failiure and I can tell that they look at me with pity. It's got to the point where I try to just avoid everyone.

I am in possibly the worst place I have been in my life. I regret a lot of things. I regret ever starting PhD, I regret not making more effort in both my PhD and networking aspects. I accept responsibility for my mistakes but it doesn't make my predicament any easier.

Any words of advice? Sorry for rambling.

hi onegirl
Congratulations on submitting!

I can understand how uncomfortable you feel when people keep asking you if you have found a job. People ask me the same thing ALL THE TIME! My colleagues -- most of them have employment now, I think I am the only one who is still sitting at home!

What I do is reply with the same answer--and this may sound silly almost robotic and mechanical but now I don't feel bad anymore.

Question: Hey, any more news about your job hunt??
My answer: Not yet, I'm still looking. Thanks for asking!

Once you reply like this a few times, a couple more times, it sort of becomes automatic.

And then here comes the annoying bit--when people start recommending--

example of unsolicited advice 1:
I heard NHS is having a recruitment run now. Have you tried it?

example of unsolicited advice 2: How about colleges? Have you tried those?

My answer: Hmmm.. Ok. Thanks for telling me.

I don't speak any further about this because I have found that it basically leads to nothing and its a waste of energy to talk about this and that.

I have found that the best advice I get about job-hunting is the answers from people I actually ask because they are telling me what I need to know.

I think you are lucky, at least your university gave you something to do. I didn't get anything from mine! I emailed them, called them, I was begging too. Nothing.

Try not to worry because worrying is not going to help you. And don't feel guilty about not having a job at this point. You have to just live day by day for now -- but keep looking for job advertisements etc and try to be positive :-)

love satchi

Congratulations on submitting! That is a very big deal, and you should probably be giving yourself a rest right now.

It sounds from your post like you are perceiving there to be a lot more failures going on than one might consider more objectively. For example, the fact that you've only been job hunting for three months and have been invited to three interviews is something many PhD students would consider a positive sign. It is unfortunate that two of those posts seemed like a less good match, but at least you were interviewed.

People often assume networking to involve schmoozing with bigwigs at conferences and talks. Personally I consider it more to be a case of ensuring that your peers and superiors have a chance of knowing that you (and your body of work) exist and may be suitable for a project they have in mind. Start by ensuring you have a decent and up to date professional online profile e.g. university webpage, LinkedIn, ResearchGate, Academia.Edu. You need to be Googleable.Secondly you can start networking now - it's never too late. Set up a Twitter account, follow people/institutions in your field, and start interacting. It's a lot less scary than face to face!

Given your personal circumstances, you should be applying for non-academic jobs too. It is not a cop-out or a failure - you need an income and there's nothing to be ashamed about that. Don't avoid your colleagues who may well be able to help/support you just because they have had some success- just accept that their journey is different to yours (they may even have their own burdens you don't know about).

Please cut yourself some slack. You haven't even totally finished the PhD process yet and you already have 3 months of work lined up, so try to focus on those positives.

Best of luck,

Hazy

The fact that you are getting interviews at all suggests that you are employable...