Does anyone else hate meeting with their supervisor/s? I get along well with both of them, yet whenever we meet I always end up leaving feeling as though I'm an idiot. It's not lack of preparation - I'm well prepared for our meetings, though I always feel as though they are trying to "catch me out". Does anyone else feel the same?

I dread meeting with my supervisor. I put so much effort into holding it together that i never leave feeling that i've gained anything from the meeting. I don't feel like they're trying to catch me out but i do feel like i let myself down in these situations. In fact, I actively avoid meeting my supervisor which is relatively easy to do given that my supervisor is really busy all the time! The problem is that i'm now 14 months in and we've had only 2 or 3 meetings, which i'm now paying for in stress.

due to sooo many supervision problems - ive stopped meeting my supervisors for just random chats etc. I only meet the problem supervisor for specific reasons - e.g. to help go through some written work. It maybe better if you sent them an e-mail telling them what you wanted to discuss before the meeting. I've found since i have taken the control - they are alot better. I meet both of the supervisors for generic meetings once every 2 months to have general chat - i like these usually...

Hey, thanks for your replies (at least I know that I'm not the only one!). When I think about it, I guess that they aren't trying to catch me out, but I definitely leave feeling disappointed with myself and many times end up in my office in tears (thank God I don't have to share!).

I do send them a list of things to discuss at our meetings, and whilst this means that I'm getting to discuss what I want to discuss, it always feels as though they are testing me.

Maybe you should tell them if they are making you feel like this. I did and its sorted out now. Its the hardest thing ever but they probbaly arent aware of it.

I think that I'm going to have to. I just did the stupidest thing - so stressed about meeting htem tomorrow that I just emailed them and said I couldn't make it...Grrr wish I hadn't done that now! But thanks for the advice - I will tell them (it couldn't make me feel any worse!)

dont worry. At the end of the day - this is your PhD and you have to identify what is making you feel this way - they want to help you, you have to tell them how. What hurts the most? is it the digs at your research or is it digs at you? Separate the two and make sure whatever they say they tell you how to improve.

With you on this one! I dread them and nearly cancelled mine today but went in and it wasnt too bad. But yes I do feel as though they are trying to catch me out.
After weeks of moaning that they have interfered too much today they sort of said Now its your PhD go away and formulate specific reserach questions....I nearly wept at the responsibility!!!! If I manage to make a coherant point I always feel so proud of myself!!!
xx

i always come out of meetings feeling like the most stupid person in the world.. think they often phrase questions in a certain way instead of just asking what it is they want.

shellyanne - EXACTLY! That's what I think gets to me the most. Then I seem as though I don't know my area as well as I do, thus making me look like a moron

My supervisory meetings are great; coffee and cookies and friendly advice.

On the other hand, the monthly presentations to our partner groups can be terrifying; every bit of data I present gets thoroughly picked over by >25 people. Mind you it keeps me on me toes and I get some good advice; I know a few PhDs who's data is accepted unquestioningly by their supervisors but then is torn apart by the external examiners.

YAY! I did it! I had a meeting today and it went swimmingly! So proud of myself. I planned an extremely thorough agenda, asked for the meeting to be in my office, and took control Haven't felt this happy after a supervisory meeting EVER!

I think there is a general flaw with your whole argumentat, snappy Jaw:

being a PhD student is NOT about being in control and feeling stupid is exactly the right state of mind. Why? Because a PhD is like an apprenticeship, you are there to learn and to do exactly what your supervisors tell you. If you think you know everything already you will fail.

So I'm rather not in control and get pushed out of my comfort zone every second week as I know that ulitmately it will result in a PhD completion.

Point taken Otto, however there is an element of "control" that one must have - afterall, it is NOT the supervisor who is doing the PhD, they are the guide. There is nothing wrong with being pushed out of your comfort zone, and I never said that there was. All that I said was that I felt uncomfortable with supervisory meetings. Each PhD student is different and me taking control of MY meetings is what works for me

Fair enough. It's hard to find the balance between "apprenticeship" and control.

I also think it depends on the individual supervisor. If I did not trust my supervisor completely, I'd probably also try to take more control. From my experience I can say that most supervisors try to test you in the first few months, i.e. they try to establish whether you listen to them, take their advice and board or if you rather do your own thing. And I don't think they like the latter although it's hard to generalise. There are so many different types of supervisors around so it really depends.