Awww sixkitten take heart.
I remember when new people came on here trying to make the decision to go PT or FT and you have put across a logical argument for your choice and why it suited your situation at the time. I guess you have to try and remind yourself. I know it must feel a bit fustrating some times or a long road ahead, especially as you are having a bit of a rough time of it at the mo by the sounds of things - but you will get it done.
Aliby is 100% on with the comparing yourself thing. I really do believe you have to be the measure of your own success, because everyone is in a slightly different position as to how much support they have, finances, space to work, motivation etc...