If i was in a relationship with my phd, i would say we have gone past the 'cant keep our hands off each other phase', but have got the stage of 'if you fart once more i am dumping you'. I think its because I need to give the relationship a chance and give it some more time. But other prospects are looking more attractive like going out for coffee or facebook. I think i am confessing my undying love for something other than my phd and that is facebook. I am committing adultery. I don't think I can see my relationship with my PhD through as its just getting too challenging,but the time will come when I would have grown out of my PhD and it would be just another notch in the bedpost, but a bloody big one. I am hoping with the help of a relationship counsellor to move forward and start feeling more empathetic towards the phd and realise that we can having a loving fruitful relationship, rather than one which is full of thorns and lots of references. Until then anytips on how to rekindle my relationship with my phd would be much appreciated.

Tut, tut, remember your vows:

in sicknes and in health,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
till death do us part.
Amen.

lol funny, i was just telling a fellow phd friend of mine. that it feels like i am married to my phd, but rather begrudigly, i can't wait to divorce it!!

very witty and although another disguised grumble it did make me laugh. I'd like to know if your phd was a tall dusky passionate lover once or a stable serious dependable type to continue the relationship metaphor? I mean what got you into this relationship in the first place? Lack of alternatives (stable) or an all consuming need to explore your topic (passion) 'cos that's what you need to recognise so you can relight the flames. As for your illicit affair with facebook it is probably just a crush and will also phase out eventually.

I'm in the 'we need to talk' phase

often such relationship problems happen when you feel you are always giving, never receiving. is your PhD not giving anything back anymore? what did it use to be, that it gave you?
could it be that you're cheating on your PhD with facebook because facebook is now giving you that? do you really think your lover gives you that? or is your illicit affair not rather a cry for more attention? a message from you to your PhD: look here, i NEED you to give me something!
but you know, your PhD cannot read your mind. you need to let it know, you need to tell it what it is that you need from it. and, such as the nature of such relationships is, you need to be very proactive about it - make sure you get it. plan some time per week, per day, that you spend with your PhD - but NOT in the drudgery of "getting on with it" every day life, but purely devoted to that original passion, fun, and enthusiasm. not as a means to an and, just for the two of you.

Well Project was originally my passion. No fact or incident was too trivial or too boring for me to hear about. But no, Project doesn't give back like it used to.

How to rekindle the flames? I have had some success with putting my data into new positions I haven't tried before. Some are exciting and I will definitley repeat them - but some have been disappointing or require too much theoretical contortion to sustain. Occaisionally dressing Project up and pretending it's a different, new, exciting project is fun too.

And we have 'date nights'. Just me, project, and a bottle of red wine. You have to remember to make time for eatchother....

You know, you have to dump that hussy Facebook. The facebook is an evil seducer, give your betrothed another chance. I broke off my affair with facebook several months ago. She doesn't call any more wanting to inform me of status updates, or vampires wanting to suck my blood. I am at peace.

My PhD and I recently went on holiday to Blackpool to work out our differences. We would have liked to go abroad instead, but my PhD tends to spend all my money behind my back. That said, the time alone together has really helped us and we are planning another little getaway together as soon as we can find the time.