Hi,

First post here...just really need some impartial advice at the moment...sorry if this is a bit long-winded. I'm in the first year of my PhD (literature based) and I hate it. I was always convinced I wanted a career in academia, I took a year out after my undergrad degree then came back to my old uni and completed a research MA 07/08 before starting my PhD in October. I'm partially funded by my department and work part-time (but am doing the PhD full-time). I basically lost all motivation just after Christmas. I talked to my supervisor and told her I had no interest in the work, I can't make myself research and when I go to conferences and seminars I just feel bored. She told me it was just a bit of a dip and I should just get on with writing instead of procrastinating. So I did but it's now almost May and the thought of heading back to uni for summer term is horrible. It's not just the topic, I also hate the whole post-grad lifestyle. There's absolutely no post-grad community at my uni, I've tried so many times to get people out for a drink but there's just no interest- everyone's totally immersed in their own research. I've never felt so isolated and I don't think I can live like this for another 2 years (optimistically assuming I finish when I'm meant to!) I tried to talk to some of my friends about this but they just made me feel like a failure for even thinking about quitting...it's like they can't imagine a world outside of academia. Any advice would be great- I'm really struggling with this...all I do is go on and on about this problem and it's turning me into this whiny, depressed person who I really don't want to be.

I have found the isolation very tough and I think you have to be very motivated or not very sociable - preferably both maybe - to get through that. Perhaps you should talk to your careers advice service and see if there are other options that really interest you. That might help you decide.

i think everyone (albeit academic lovers) goes through this stage.......make sure it is the phd you hate and not the topic, because that's diferent.

I do agree that boredom can ensue, and to be constantly fascinated by an academic topic one must either be very diligent and devoted or disturbed with no other interest lol

the key is to find the interest in the topic whilst leading the same life you led before and remembering the topic is also your creation, making it more interesting then just crunching numbers or data entry.

good luck but i would think twice.

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Hi. I think the feeling of isolation - in my case, coming from a sense of being on the periphery of my college and because of the autonomy of the PhD process - is one of the most difficult things to deal with. I shared a lot of your feelings of disengagement too for a while when I first started. What got me out of it was having a whole load of fieldwork interviews to do, and once I started those I found myself engaging with the process. There have been peaks and troughs (some pretty major ones) since then but I'm in the fourth year now and nearly there with it (...yep, I too had planned to finish in three but the fieldwork turned into an epic thing).

I don't know if it would be a useful technique for you to try, but I realised along the way that when I'm feeling completely de-motivated and couldn't care less about doing the work I'm supposed to be doing, if I start something else PhD-related but less important: perhaps a menial organising task (I've got loads of recorded material to organise and sort, but it could be a bibliographical thing or search), or something indirectly related that I actually want to do or read or see, it will trick me back into thinking about the research.

Perhaps you could apply this on a bigger scale and just decide to free yourself up for a while and do some stuff which is related to your PhD but less work-like and maybe takes you to a few new places: archives, libraries, exhibitions, performances, whatever's relevant that might trigger your engagement. I don't know if any of this will be helpful to you, but thought I'd chip in anyway just in case...

Thanks so much for all the advice- it really is very much appreciated. I've already been to see the careers service and have managed to sort out some work experience over the summer. I think it would do me good to focus on stuff that's slightly less important to the PhD but unfortunately I'm supposed to have my upgrade in June so I really need to be writing for that (so far haven't written a word).
I really find it hard to separate things out at the minute as well (do I hate the research, the topic, the post-grad lifestyle or all three?)
All this stress might be for nothing though...I've re-applied for funding for the next two years and if I get rejected again I'll have to quit anyway since I simply can't afford to continue so the decision might be made for me!