I don't know if i should be reacting to this in anyway or how to react to it. I think my supervisor is overstepping some boundries. During a collegue's leaving meal, my supervisor kept making remarks about my culture and how my parents have provided me with a sheltered life; eg I am vegetarian ... i don't know much about old music as my parents didnt listen to it.

Another incident was when she came into the research lab shouting at how my research questions had changed in the last 5 months and she wasnt aware of it. When I explained to her that all the documents I gave her had the updated questions on there and I changed them due to a discussion we had she walked out saying 'i dont care anymore - its none of my business'.

There have been many issues of this kind. I dont know if it is ok to be angry by what she is doing or if its what other supervisors do in other universities or departments.

Unfortunately, I would say that the way your supervisor is behaving is NOT acceptable (especially the personal comments about your parents and culture), but it is all too recognisable.

The sheer power differential in PhD supervision relationship means that supervisors often get away with far more than bosses in other jobs.

What you do about it is up to you though. If you are nearly finished/ love everything else about your PhD/ can put up with it then I think you may be better off struggling on. If not perhaps you can arrange to have a co-supervisor or different supervisor?

You need to talk to someone else (i.e. head of department) about this and - and if you think this would be best for you - request a new supervisor. I know this isn't an easy thing to do, but I've known so many people who have changed supervisors and things have worked out totally fine for them.

Taking the first steps are always difficult but don't be worry ... just do it!!! The long term implications if you don't do something are you'll probably end up being abused for the duration of your PhD and won't get the bit of paper at the end of the process!

Thanks millions for clarifying that I am not going crazy for feeling down about this comments. I am a finalist so I only have a while left to go. I have tried changing supervisors since I'd started my PhD but due to the politics within the department. Its not fun as I have been offered my dream postdoc place but I may have to work with this person but I am doubting taking this position. Its difficult - i'm on anti-depressants to deal with it! Isn't life great! Many thanks for listening.

Hang in there - you're going to be fine. The fact you have a dream post-doc position speaks volumes about your ability and enthusiasm for your subject. Your supervisor is just not a nice person, obviously, but - yes, as other's point out - will probably get away with it in a way she wouldn't elsewhere. Sending you lots of positive energy, anyway!