I've been having a lot of problems lately: poor motivation, lack of self-worth, trouble even getting out of bed.
So, I set a three week deadline with my sup to write something, to get back on track.
The deadline's tomorrow and I haven't written anything and haven't read enough to write anything.
I'm just sat here crying my eyes out.
I hate myself so much and yet I still can't face picking up a book. I know it's pointless anyway, because I've run out of time. I hate this. I really, really hate it. Why does it have to be like this?

Hey Florence - it does not have to be like this , but then it does - it's part of learning how to cope..

Your situation is not the end of the world. Do what you can in the time left. Okay, you can't produce a properly written report by tomorrow, but you obviously have read something, you know some stuff. Summarise that and make an outline of the other things you will write. You will still have something to show your sup. You can do it!!

The liklihood is, is that your sup won't even remember if he/she is anything like mine!
It seems like you are in the whole 'I don't want to get criticised for doing poor work, so if I don't do the work in the first place they can't criticise me' cycle. You definately have time to put together 1000 words or so on something - write a plan of what you want to write and try to sit down and do it for just 15 mins. If you set yourself the goal of 15 mins its likely you will be involved in it enough to carry on.

Hi Florence,

I know what it is like to just sit and cry; sometimes it makes things better as you emotionally unload as it were. I hope you are feeling a little better now. It is also very difficult to motivate yourself (hence I am writing here instead of my chapter). I have had years where I didn't write anything. I am nearly there now, even though I am much over my original time period. Could you write a set of notes - what you have been thinking of, a very rough, vague plan of ideas about the work? You could include your fears about what you need to know before you write - I am sure that if you are honest with your supervisor they will want to help you. They know what this is like. Even just a list of things that have been going through your mind would help explain your situation with your supervisor. Believe me, it is amazing what you can get done if you put your mind to it. I wrote what I thought at the time was a very crappy plan which in the end really helped me! It wasn't referenced or anything. I started to write it in desperation and it turned into 4,000 words (the majority of which was footnoted 'ideas'). I wrote it so quickly too - I wondered what I had been so fearful of - but often the fear is of writing thesis script in it's full form - when you can't see the woods for the trees. Your supervisor won't expect this right now as the whole thing is too complex to get out in wonderfully constructed, perfect piece of cogent, well articulated argument. Even if that is how you have written stuff before. I learned this over my many years trying to complete the PhD. I hope it is a little better now and try to keep the faith... it is hard but if I've nearly got there then so will you. x

Come on Florence, you can do this! Just write something, anything - just a few words will get you going and then it will be ok. You have time to write a little report, just something to discuss with your supervisor. The 15 minutes thing is always a great idea, just commit to sit and try and write just for those few minutes - you can do that can't you? Dry your eyes and start to type - it's always easier when you don't have a blank sheet in front of you

Florence - just get yourself back in the game. So, you are not gonna make the deadline - so what!
Do NOT pick up a book - you know what you must do and the knowledge is inside you. Even if it something as simple as a mindmap of your own thoughts of the doc you promised to have done on a sheet of paper, which will then form the basis of the heading, even if you started this (not even necessarily finish this!). Ok, you might read stuff later that goes against what you said, but leave that for then.
Your supervisor would like to see what you are thinking, not what other people. If you have time to back this up, grand! If not, at least it is a train of thought that is moving forwards (it might be slow, but it ain't in reverse).
If you feel that you must read something, read a set limit of papers (in fairness, everyone should have the guts of 10 papers read in 2 hours ... no, not notes but at least some papers with the intro and conclusion read ... desperate times etc).
So
1. Mindmap
2. Headings
3. 1-2 papers on each heading - maybe 3 if time
4. Go back to mindmap and extend to show possible relationships

Assuming it is either some lit or a paper you are doing.

We are ALL capable of doing this and leave the self-hatred for the squanderers of funding or plagarists! You are neither! You are in this position because of previous work that showed you can write. You must remember that everything good usually starts out from something at times that is crud!

Last word - just write something!

So how'd you get on?