hi all, i'm glad i found a website that caters to phd students! well i was just wondering if anybody has some advise on how to have a lovelife if you're doing work 23 hours( 1 hour for sleep)?:) or is it necessary that you look for someone who's undergoing the same experiences you're undergoing??? well, this surely narrows down the choices!insights please!:)

very interesting. for me, i found one too much to handle - time wise. anyone else with better luck?

I know it's too much to handle. but sometimes you just want someone with whom you can share the same experiences/frustrations with. that's why the question should be should he/she also be a phd or graduate student too? life..so complicated.

I was with my bf before I started my PhD and am still with him now that I am nearing the end. He works in an entirely different field and is not doing his PhD.

I admit sometimes wishing he understood what it feels like when experiments repeatedly fail - and I really, really wish he knew how awful it is to write a thesis. But, it is great to have someone who makes you take a Sunday off to go bushwalking or makes you stop working on a Saturday night to go to the moview. He has made me keep some perspective. He is very good at reminding me my PhD is not the most important thing in the world - there are still wars, our friends 2 year old son is still dying, and the globe is still warming.

I say it is certainly possible, and possibly an advantage, to go out with a non-PhDer.

hi, I had a bf when I just started the PhD, and he became my husband one year later--I still don't know why I had married him. But, we lived in two different places, for three years! though we're now living together. I just want to say, that I would agree Piglet that it's good to have a bf who could help you take a Sunday off, etc. But, try not to keep a relationship with someone who is far away from you. Now I realize that all the three years I had lived was a misery, it didn't help me anything, but stress.

i met my boyf the week before i started my Phd and he is an electrican (so not in a smilar position at all) i dont find it affects my Phd at all and dont think i could live with someone who was as stressed at me (i.e fellow PhDs)
On the down side he doesnt really understand when i get upset and cry over cells dying etc!but then i have people to talk to at work about PhD related things.

i guess there are advantages and disadvantages to both (partner doing/not doing a PhD). i moved out of our shared flat to do my PhD, to a different country... sometimes it is hard! but i do very much enjoy the possibility of discussing work-related issues with him, even if it is on the phone, as he is also a PhD student. but then on the other hand, sometimes it would be good to get more of an outside perspective.

Hi there, well - I think there are two things here - if you're single when you start a PhD it makes it pretty tough to meet anyone unless they're from the same lab. I spent the majority of my PhD bemoaning the lack of men (or at least ones I was interested in!), and having some rather funny or disastrous dates in an attempt to do something about it. But in the end when you're working so hard it's difficult to meet anyone. Having said that - I then went to a conference and met someone - a postdoc, so now it's great in the last part of the PhD to have someone who understands, cooks me dinner when I can't be bothered in the evening because I can't tear myself away from the work, & keeps telling me I'm doing fine. However, PhDs are tough on a relationship, and i've had to force myself not to talk about it all the time or it detriments our relationship. But that's good too. Good luck! (try conferences!!!)

Not entirely sure I would want to date [strange term when you're 40] another PhD student. Last thing I want to do when I stop working is to listen to someones elses PhD woes - have enough of my own. Arguably that why I am in a relationship of mutual convenience.

actually, i recently met a PhD student who i could potentially be interested in. i find that he understands my PhD woes and listening to his gives me hope - that am not the only one in the whole world finding the PhD hard. the trouble with dating a PhD student is the 'know it all' mentality. always correcting you, always bringing up the PhD stuff i wanna take my mind off, trying to look show me that he knows a thing or two. on the other hand, i'd rather date such a person than the type that are intimidated by PhDs. that said, am steering off relationships til i finish writing up. why? coz i am afraid that the person can't cope with the stress and i prefer to be with someone who understands my troubles or no one at all. i suppose it depends on how good you are in handling stress. if you moan a lot like i do about my work, you're better of being single. only a strong relationship can take that. conferences are a great idea for those looking for PhDs.

Just wondering if any of you had meet you bf/gf in the time you've been doing your PhD?

Up until a few months ago I had been seeing an undergrad who was in her final year, but we split up, and now I'm finding it really difficult to meet people. I feel as though I'm stuck in a rut, alot of people I meet outside of university aren't interested because I'm still a student at 25, and alot of undergrad students don't want to know either, because of the academic situation or because of exams and leaving upon their graduation. I feel really frustrated that no-one understands. Dating someone in the department isn't possible as I'm in such a male dominated department

I met my boyfriend three months into my PhD - he finished his UG in the summer and has been sporadically working/travelling this year before starting his MA in september.

I met him thorough the library. Maybe you could scoop out the various PhD rooms in your building, or perhaps flirt over department coffee, biscuits and conferences....?

I enjoy my PhD - but will be please when I can spend more time with friends and boyfriend.

I met my bloke last year and we decided to get married. It was totally unexpected for me because I had decided that it was something I would consider after finishing the PhD. Especially as one of my so-called friends told me not to do a PhD because I wouldn't be able to find a guy from my community who would marry me. to him.

He can be supportive but doesn't even bother to fake an interest in what I do. Hes very proud though.

The love life of a PhD student... that's a tricky one! Many times I couldn't even cuddle in peace thinking about stuff that troubled me about my work. I think having an understanding partner helps a lot because otherwise, things don't work as well.

To be honest I'm doing my PhD in History over in the UK, and I would NEVER want to date someone within the same field as myself. First, you would constantly be trying to best one another, in terms of your research. Second, diversity and difference is often what attracts two individuals, rather than sharing too much in common. This is obviously a vast generalization, but perhaps there is some degree of truth to be found in it.