Hi
I am a PhD student and I just got news that I passed my Master of Research but I didn't get the distiction I was close to getting because my thesis let me down - I got 68 overall and I am devastated, I can't stop crying and I feel like a failure because everyone had built me up and expected a distinction - now I am worried that I am not good enough for my PhD

I just had to post because I am so upset and I needed to let this out

Hi Supersteff, I think you are being too hard on yourself for nothing really. Many of us PhDiers have merits for our Masters. It doesn't bother me a tiny bit. Come on, you are doing a PhD and that means you are good enough. If you knew you weren't you wouldn't have applied and you wouldn't have been accepted. To me you got an excellent mark!!!

hi

Hmm. you're crying because you got a very high merit?

I've spent my entire life till now being a grade-obsessed Hermione (from Harry Potter) and my PhD has made me realise two things.

First, and this I always knew.. that I am a hard working person with some intelligence to back up the hard work. Yes, I say I knew this, and I am thankful to the powers that be, if any.

Second, and NB this I did *not* know: the above is true is not documented by my grades at all even though that may well seem the case. It is supported by the fact that even if I did not make good grades I'd probably still be a hard working PhD student.

Grades matter *this* much. Belive me. I know spectacular scholars who have not been class toppers. And I know very many class toppers who are very far from spectacular.

And please do believe me when I say this, for till last yr, I worried myself sick to get distinctions, and did get them, but missed the whole point of learning, and education.


Picture yourself 15 yrs down the line, if you're unwilling to picture yourself 15 months down the line. WIll anyone care about if you got a 68 or a 70?

You are not equal to your grades. And a PhD is the time to realise that. that, and many other things :-)

Welcome to academia, and doctoral life.

you're wasting valuable tears you'll need during writing up :-).

take it easy and 'grow up' .. grades only matter to little ones. at PhD level you have nothing to prove and with time you realise your latest grade is what matters - for you that's whether you pass your phd or not. not what happened at masters level.

you get a phd by perseverance, not by how bright you are. we are all intelligent, that's why we're phd students. but can we all persevere?

that's what you should be thinking about.

Grrr I just wrote an answer, and it disappeared... so again:

Hi Supersteff, I echo what everyone else has said.

I also just missed a distinction, but by a smaller margin than you, and I beat myself up about it. But really what's the point?

It has very little tangible impact (particularly as you are already a PhD student).

Academics (unless conceited) generally do not publicise their grades/classifications, except for job applications, and a high merit versus a distinction will make no difference to an employer (particularly when you have a PhD under your belt).

On a separate note, if you feel you have been unfairly graded, you could appeal/request a remark.

Hey Supersteff! I know it feels crappy to just miss out, especially when everyone expects so much of you. I did get a distinction, which I found out after I started my PhD, but to be honest it really wouldn't have mattered either way. For me, the only reason I wanted a distinction was to get onto a PhD, and I already had that before I found out my result. You have got your PhD, that's the most important thing, and when you finish that nobody will give a stuff about your MRes. It doesn't mean you're not capable of your PhD at all, I know lots of people doing PhDs who got a merit or a pass on their MSc who are doing brilliantly. I know it feels crappy now, but believe me, in a few months you will be so busy doing well at your PhD that you won't give it a second thought, and nor will anyone else. You've done brilliantly to get onto your PhD so try not to let this drag you down! Best wishes, KB