After 3 long years, here I am facing the inevitable... I'm definitevely not going to submit tomorow... I feel like crap, people around you tell you it's going to be ok and my boyfriend is clearly as frustrated as me and tiried of trying to be supportive...please tell me I'm not the only one!

I believe that submiting in 3 years is not common. Most people tend to submit in 3.5 or 4 years, so in my opinion, no harm is done.
I guess you have lot of material and several chapters ready, so you just have to finish it up. Well, that's manageable. If you take 6 months more (or even longer) it's not the end of the world.
As far as your boyfriend is concerned, if he loves you and sees how much you are trying then he shouldn't be frustrated. Doing a PhD is not an easy thing. It needs much time, much devotion and a lot of support and understanding....

thanks for your message. I should have said 3 and a bit year in my first message (I had 4 months extention)! I know usualy people spend more than 3 years but it tends to be quite depressing and I have the impression I'll be stuck in front of that computer for ever! I can't wait to be a normal person again! And the pressure doesn't seem to have any effect on my tendency to procrastinate! It can be quite hard for people around you too! Anyway, better get back to work: I still have an introduction to write! Good luck to those in the same situation!

Hey, try not to be too down. Deadlines get pushed back all the time - this forum is littered with people who push the latest submission deadline back. I think it's something I'm going to have to do - again - too. A PhD takes as long as it takes. It's slow, and we often underestimate how long it will take us to do. I too feel like it will never end, that I'll be stuck in front of this computer forever...but I still work on my thesis everyday, knowing that little by little, I'll get there. You will too! Keep going!

You are not alone in this, and I had to push mine back on a few occasions. As Sue says, it takes as long as it takes. You will get there in the end. I guess the greatest difficulty may be dealing with the guilt and all the bad sentiments coming with missing the deadline, and that is huge. It is a blessing when you have people around you whose view you value and they say soothing things. I hope you do, and just to let you know, sometimes these may come from places you least expect them.

Just remember that it was not long ago that people regularly took 6 or 7 years to complete. ( My research has involved talking to lots of academics about their careers!) It is only recently that research councils and management are pushing us all to get it done in 3 or 4 years.
Part of the reason they are pushing for these shorter deadlines is truely to help us keep the task manageable ( yes I laughed at that too!)
So don't worry about feeling frustrated, or disppointing friends and family.
Remember you don't get a "better" doctorate because you nearly killed yourself trying to get it done on time, a few extra weeks or months might help. Your health and sanity is paramount; give yourself permission to take a break ( take an afternoon off to have a walk, bake cakes or go window-shopping) come back to it freshly after a good nights sleep and pretend you are tutoring/mentoring another student. Break down the task, then hopefully what needs to be done won't send you into a panic.
Hope this helps
Remember we are all going through it too, you are not alone.

all true.

also, while those close to us do get tired of being supportive all the time it doesn't mean they don't want to. When my boyfriend was going through writing up I found it very difficult to keep up my energy at supporting but I believed in what he was doing and understood and kept trying. Several years later he's now my husband and it's his turn ;-)