Today, in the lab we have a birthday, I had participated, but not so much as I feel anxious in the crowded areas. I felt very shy and that's is true, I withdraw from the party after 15 minutes and wished everyone the good.

Later, my PI informed me that he is extremely pissed off and did not like the fact that I am a very shy person. I am supposed to select a potential supervisor; the one I am interested in his work also has an aloof character. The PI ( head of the lab) informed I cannot assign two shy people to work together ( me and the prospective supervisor) as he thought we are going to fail to make a significant work.

The ugly truth is that I am an indeed shy girl for many years and I lose many social opportunities likely marriage opportunities because I don't interact so much as other girls. However, I look very confident in voluntary works, teaching and giving talks.

I know it sounds controversial however, I began to lose my self-confidence and esteem although I had a strong character.

The question: How I should react towards this?

Hi Monkia, I’m sorry that you’ve experienced this. It is completely unprofessional and unacceptable for your PI to make these comments towards you. Your PI has no right to comment on your personality and how he feels about it, this is bullying.

I think that you need to make a record of this, or tell someone you trust (a personal tutor or some sort of student support type person) and then decide whether you feel comfortable to bring this up with the PI yourself, or with another member of staff. But definitely seek advice and let us know how it turns out.

It is ok to be shy! After what you’ve been through it is probably normal that you have lost self esteem and confidence of late. Don’t be harsh on yourself, you deserve to be safe and valued in the place you work. You deserve nothing less!