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NEED ADVICE, PLEASE HELP!

M

======= Date Modified 15 25 2009 04:25:37 =======
======= Date Modified 15 24 2009 04:24:38 =======
I am really torn as to whether I finish my PhD or not, and I would GREATLY appreciate any wise advice.


I just finished my quals and was awarded a masters in computer science from a good school, and I am now in the process of deciding my dissertation topic. However, there are some aspects of my situation that really make the think that I shouldn't finish the PhD.


First, I do NOT want to be an academic. I never have, and I probably never will. I would love to work in industry research labs, because I want to see my ideas directly applied to products and in the real world. I feel that academics have to sacrifice so much of their life to get a tenured position, and for me personally, its not worth it.


Second, what I have experienced of the computer science academic culture leads me to believe that it is very communistic. Everyone hates Microsoft for trivial reasons, etc. You are expected to give your ideas and publish them with nothing in return except respect of your peers. I'm sorry. I want to get PAID for my work, and I am tired of feeling like a criminal because I place being compensated very highly in my list of priorities. Some of the greatest things we have in the world come from private industry and capitalism, and I think it is wonderful (except for the current recession, child labor, etc.).


Third, I am tired of being poor. My wife has an AWFUL job, and when I see her come home with tears in her eyes I feel like it is my fault. I know it's the new millennium and women are seen as exactly the same as men, but I feel like a complete failure of a husband because I cannot provide for her. She goes through torment at work because we cannot live on my stipend alone.


However, I LOVE research and doing intellectually creative things. Coming up with cutting edge algorithms or working on the next big thing is a complete thrill. My ultimate dream would be to start a tech company like Google (I know, wouldn't everyone!), but I would also love doing R&D for Intel or a similar firm. I certainly do NOT want to give my work away for free, though, and I want to see it in a practical context.


My advisor says that if I do not want an academic job, that I probably can't stay motivated to get the PhD. Is this true? What should I do? I'm really sorry if my opinions offended anyone, but I need to get this stuff off of my chest. The anonymity of the internet is the best way I think…


thank all of you!!

A

Dear Mr_Smith,

I understand what you feel right now. First of all, get it straight that the motivation issue in the PhD affects each and every student at some point. It does not matter whether you have academia in your mind for a career or the industry itself. If you do love research, you will enjoy your research anyway and it is certainly worth a shot, especially as you are already in the pipeline.

Secondly, it is very natural for you to feel sorry for your wife for what she is going through as a cost of your PhD. But if the degree is the thing YOU really want, then probably she also won't let you give it up. May be the pain she is going through will give you the motivation to do great in your work and finish in time. If you can find some time and if you are permitted by the law, then you can look for a part time job to help her out. Talk to your advisor--if s/he can engage you in a project of hers/his, that will complement your work and also give some payment that will be the greatest thing whatsoever. Or you can make the things better for her if you manage the household works for her so that it doesn't worsen for her.

Thirdly, I would suggest you to talk to your wife directly about the long term goals you both want to achieve and how to make an optimum solution at the present situation. I think both of you can pull each other out of the mental state that is apparently unbearable for each other.


Best of luck dear...things will get rolling in no time, you'll see!

S

People do PhDs for lots of reasons, and not necessarily to stay in academia. If you've decided not to work in academia and you know you want to work for private enterprise, great, you've made a decision. Will your PhD help you in the private sector? Or will your Masters be enough to get you a job in a research lab? If, like most jobs, you don't need a PhD, maybe you should start looking around for a job. A job where you could do research, and get paid decently sounds like it's more important to you than undertaking a PhD.

And yeah, you do need to talk to your wife. Sounds like you both need a good job! And do you really need to provide for your wife? Doesn't she have her own career hopes and dreams?

M

Quote From Sue2604:

And yeah, you do need to talk to your wife. Sounds like you both need a good job! And do you really need to provide for your wife? Doesn't she have her own career hopes and dreams?


Of course she does. Please don't think I'm chauvinistic or anything! The problem is that she is not American (we live in the USA), and her degree is for an Asian country. US companies generally frown upon foreign degrees, especially with no work experience. She therefore works for an Asian company in the USA and they almost kill her with work and stress. They train her extensively, though, and she thinks (probably rightfully so in this economy) that a US company would not do that. She doesn't want to look like a quitter on he resume, and she really isn't thrilled about going back to school. She's trying to find her passion too, just like me. Also, since we are in the USA, we have to be really careful about health insurance. If she quits, her insurance will be $300+ per month, and that's for really crappy coverage. She came to this country because she loves me and wants to be with me. She made a commitment, a sacrifice, for me, and I want to do right by her. I cannot get a job in her country because of language issues and the inherent racism found in homogenous cultures. If you are foreigner and lived in an Asian country long term, you know what I mean.

P

You have answered yourself, and should not do the phd for you clearly dont want this. It's like if I try asking myself if I want to be a lawyer or a doctor. No. Why? bcos I want to be a researcher, scholar etc etc.

PS: Your comment about the inherent racism in homogenous cultures will probably attract attention here. I am picking my own disagreement, and that's with the homogenous bit of it.

I think we have long proven, that 'cultures' of all things, are far from homogenous, whatever else they are.

About the racism inherent to this, well, I am off to catch a flight and hence have no time!

M

Quote From phdbug:

I think we have long proven, that 'cultures' of all things, are far from homogenous, whatever else they are.

About the racism inherent to this, well, I am off to catch a flight and hence have no time!


You are right. I should not be so general, but I just don't want to be specific and give away too much personal info. I worked for a foreign company in this particular Asian country for a while and I saw some very unkind things happen to colleagues and had other happen to myself. I should be more careful when tiptoeing through a minefield like I am, but I can't deny what I have seen and experienced.

M

Quote From Sue2604:

A job where you could do research, and get paid decently sounds like it's more important to you than undertaking a PhD.


That statement is certainly true for me. However, I see that the labs at companies are often led by PhD's. Is it better to get hired with a Master's, work my way into a position in the labs, and then have the company sponsor me to finish the PhD? What scares me is that in my current lab, there is one person with a MS in statistics, and she does all of the menial, uninteresting work, while the researchers that have PhD's do all the cool stuff. This lab is in academia, however.

S

Quote From Mr_Smith:

That statement is certainly true for me. However, I see that the labs at companies are often led by PhD's. Is it better to get hired with a Master's, work my way into a position in the labs, and then have the company sponsor me to finish the PhD?.


If you think a PhD will make a difference to your chances of employment, maybe you should go with this plan? I don't work in your field so can't really advise, sorry. Can you get some career advice from your supervisor, or maybe go to an employment expo at your uni? Or do you know anyone with industry contacts you could talk to?

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