Hello everyone, I would really appreciate if anyone could give me some advice.

I am about half a year into my PhD and I am feeling really stressed out and depressed already.
Before starting this PhD I had a very enjoyable year doing my Master's project with a supervisor whom I look up to very much on an interesting project at another university. After this positive experience I was certain that PhD would be the next thing I want to do. However, due to various reasons I couldn't do my PhD there and I end up in this new lab.

I don't have a lot of experiences and there are still much for me to learn. However, I am having difficulty dealing with my supervisor. He is a micro-manger and I have to do exactly what he tells me to do. But the problem is, I don't think he is very competent. Many times I follow his instructions and the experiment would fail. He doesn't give me enough room to learn for myself. and when I try to discuss the project with him, I have a feeling that he doesn't know enough. He would ask me to just keep repeating the same experiments until I get the trend he wants to see.

Also, he wants results fast and he doesn't care much how you do it. I am a careful worker and I want my experiments to be precise and accurate, and thus reliable. however, doing things my way is too slow for him. (for example, protocol says drug selection should use minimal dose and a week time, he would asks me to use a much higher conc. so the selection can be done in 3 days). May be it's due to this after repeating the experiments several times I still cant get the result I was looking for.

He also gives me a lot to work on. So much that I often cant find the time to have lunch and I work from 9am to 7-8pm straight with no break. Often repeating the experiments that he demands me to do. This leave me little/no time to actually think about my project or to read relevant literatures as I couldn't even find enough time to analyse my data. I just feel like a working machine and I don't think this is what I look for in a PhD. I try to use the weekend to keep up with the reading, however he was very unhappy that I skip the weekend and he demands me to work in the weekends as well.

As much as I love doing research, I do have a life outside of my work and I think a good work-life balance is needed in the long run to keep me motivated. I have been working for 6 months without taking any break (I work through public holidays too) and making little progress. I am feeling really stressed and burnt out and am starting to question whether this PhD is worth it.

I had a very enjoyable time doing research at my old university and I know it could be amazing. However, I just really really dislike my supervisor. He is super demanding and all he cares about is data, while himself are not competent enough to give me the proper guidance. I know he is not very happy with me either because I could not produce the data that he wants. I even heard him bad mouthed me behind my back. I just don't think he value me as a person. I am just a working machine for him. I dread going to work every morning and feeling very depressed. I don't know what to do.

And it's sad that I am usually considered to be a very good student in the past and I did very well. Now I am losing confidence in myself:(

It's a tough situation. I share your pain in being pushed to do experiments when I still want to think about them more.

Don't forget though, experiments fail all the time, it doesn't mean he is wrong in what he is telling you to do, but I agree, you are not going to learn very much if you can't use your own initiative.

I also suspect he is correct when he says drug concentrations can be varied - I mess about with my protocols all the time, mainly because I am being lazy, but they still work. However if something isn't working, you should follow the protocol exactly to rule out any issues.

It's also very common to be told to keep repeating experiments until they work - and in many cases this is a successful approach.

I know it's hard when he is being insensitive to your needs, but it does sound like he knows what he is doing.

Making you work such long hours though is unacceptable, and you should discuss this with him by saying that you are actually more productive and successful by having time to reflect on your work, rather than continually repeating experiments. If he is still not happy with this, then I suggest you do it anyway as he is being unreasonable.

I hope you can work things out

Hey there,

I really feel your pain - I have a supervisor with a very similar attitude. He wants data quickly and as easily as possible, whereas scientific integrity isn't important to him. Very frustrating, as I am a scientist who actually cares about what I am doing!

You just need to learn to deal with your supervisor in your own way. If something is incredibly important to you and your project, try to argue your case. You may need to compromise at times, but obviously stand strong for the science that you are trying to do. Your supervisor cannot tell you otherwise if you are armed with literature references, etc :).

Good luck and keep powering through!

J x