Hi, can someone please help me, because this problem is preoccupying me.
Basically I have submitted some work to my supervisor and it has incurred very negative feedback. His comments are completely justified and make sense. I was struggling with this work (he knew this). Anyway, his feedback still stung a bit. I feel like he did not spend adequate time with it (because there is good stuff in there somewhere!), and instead neglected to read it all (because to him it was too irrelevant). He pretty much told me to go away, think about it, suggested ways which might help me better it, and contact him soon to discuss.

I was very gracious, saying 'thank you' etc, and that I'd meet him this week...until I read his comments (too many times), I started to take it personally and let my feelings get the better of me. I then (stupidly) sent an email saying that I was now going to work on it myself for a few weeks without him because there is clearly no point in him trying to help me until I can sort myself out. I said I'd contact him in the upcoming weeks. It was a bit ridiculous to tell the truth, saying things like "I've wasted my time and yours". Completely dramatic. He didn't reply to this (he ALWAYS replies). I've annoyed him.

Now I need to go crawling back to him. I need his help. When I am sane i know i put far too much on him, he's a very god supervisor and i need to accept he has a life and other responsibilities.

Does anyone else have this problem of finding it hard not to rely too much on their supervisor? I can't seem to accept that he's not going to hold my hand. he frustrates me so much for the tiniest thing. I think he doesn't have much respect for me which frustrates me even more!

I haven't even started a PhD yet but I hope I can say something useful...
You say yourself he is a very good supervisor and that his comments were justified, he sounds like a very professional and experienced supervisor so I think he would understand how upset you are feeling about it, ultimately it shows that you care about your work. I'm sure all PhD students go through these 'dramatic' stages and its all an expression of stress getting to you, you might feel slightly foolish afterwards but its all to be expected. He probably went through the same with his PhD! Try to look at the bigger picture rather than this isolated experience, yes it is a setback but its all part of the process and you have a chance to now articulate some of your concerns, like you could tactfully mention the parts that you thought were good about your work. If you can go back to him and progress through this stage the working relationship you have with him could become stronger.

He should have respect for you, and he probably does. He might not be replying to the email for another reason totally unrelated to work, or he might be waiting for you to think things through a bit more. He suggested ways of improving your work and asking you to meet him soon...that shows that he cares about supervising you.

Try not to take it all too personally, its much easier said than done but I'm sure that if you emailed him again in a few days arranging a meeting he would be pleased that you had given yourself the time to think, distance from your supervisor can really help you to think for yourself (I only found that recently with my undergrad dissertation but I hope it still works with a PhD).

I know I'm not a PhD student and might sound a bit naive, but I hope I've made some sense. Natassia

As bad as it may feel, I think Natassia is right and that lots of supervisors must experience 'dramatic' moments from their PhD students. You feel embarrassed but I think that you just need to apologize, perhaps in person if you feel it will be more effective, as soon as possible, reiterate that you were struggling with the work and that you were a bit overwhelmed by the negative criticism. However, if you really are having problems with his level of respect for you and his way of looking at your work I also suggest you get it out in the open at this stage. I don't think it's helpful of him to have ignored your email which, however unfortunately worded etc, should also have sounded like a cry for help to him.

I recently had a piece of work (a definite draft!) back from my supervisor with a lot of negative comments, but when we went through it they were all justified, although I still found it pretty depressing. I thought I was then going to go through the same thing with my secondary supervisor but his outlook was much more accepting of work in progress and by coming at it from a different angle he's left me feeling a great deal more positive (although with loads to do!). Do you have a second supervisor to take this to for a second perspective? As well as making things right with your supervisor, I'm sure you would feel better if you improve your relationship with the piece of work in question, otherwise it will always remind you of this bad time and be much harder to work on. Good luck.

The others are quite right as always :) I think most students go through this, I've done the drama queen mail to my supervisor on more than occasion - he doesn't reply, I come crawling back, apologise, he tells me to breath and not panic, and we carry on as normal :) I often think he is a complete saint to put up with me lol! I know that I have relied on him too much, and him kind of taking off the stabilisers a bit upset me at one point, but now everything is fine again - he's great, extremely professional, and like you I respect his opinion - it still stings a bit though when there are more notes on the paper than words in it and almost every line has some comment or other, but I tell myself that it can only make it better and that I should be glad that I have a supervisor who will not let anything slip. I'm sure that supervisors are used to this and they have been there and understand the incredible pressures that we are under and expect a blow up every so often :)