I am having lunch with a more senior researcher in my field at an upcoming conference. We are in the same field and I've cited some of their work (which is how this emerged as we'd sent a few emails back and forth). I am just a bit apprehensive now... I mean... I guess I should just be friendly and ask about what she is working on now, how she is enjoying the conference etc? I've never done this before so any tips appreciated!!!

Hi Tudor_Queen,

Your initial ideas are all good and I think they'd get conversation going unless this senior person is super awkward and shy which hopefully won't be the case! If the conference is in an interesting location, you could also ask whether they're visited the place before and/or whether they'll have any time for sightseeing? I've had success with that in the past, as sometimes people do like to take a break from academic matters.

You could also ask about more 'technical' things like experience with fieldwork or whether they've been to a certain library/archives (sorry, I don't know what field you're in...but I'm guessing history from your username?). I have to access lots of collections for my field (art history) and people love trading 'war stories' about dealing with difficult staff! Asking for their opinion about specific conference presentations or papers you've found interesting might work too? This can stress me out a bit but if you're more confident than me, it could be a fruitful line of enquiry. Or maybe if you're thinking of submitting an article, they might be able to tell you about their experience with certain journals? Sorry, I'm rambling a bit but just trying to think of some options! Hope I helped!

Thank you for the inspiration Nesrine! I think I am actually going to write a list of questions to ask/potential discussion points, so that if my mind goes blank I can initiate conversation! Hopefully she will be a chatty forthcoming kind of person herself to make it easier (I am quite outgoing but somehow feel she should take the lead as the senior person here!). Many thanks again and I will post an update on how it went!

Tudor

If you adopt an attitude that she should take the lead then you seriously risk either coming across as a star struck groupie or as awkward yourself.
Just relax and talk to her as an equal. You are both scientists. You will either get on or you won't.
You seem to be getting yourself a bit highly strung over this. Are you sure you are not making a bigger deal of this than it needs to be?
Why on earth would an outgoing person like you possibly need to make a list of topics to talk about? You will just come across as forcing things. Relax and enjoy chatting about all sorts of things. If you really do get tongue tied just ask her about her career. People love talking about themselves. If she is a functioning human being she will ask about your career.

Hi pm133

I'm as chilled out and outgoing as ever! I just wasn't sure what to expect in this situation. I initiated some topics in the conversation, and so did she. I did let her take the lead in that I found out how she wanted to pitch the conversation. In the end it was a mixture of general/social chit chat and about our research. It was good to have met her, although right now I can't say I can see what is so good about this networking lark. I suppose it will pay off when I come to be looking for jobs and people will know me/my name.

Ps. I've only just seen your message, but yes, I didn't write a list in the end. I don't think it is a particularly bad idea though - if one is feeling a little unsure of a situation/what to talk about. I don't advocate actually bringing the list and ticking off each item as you cover it. More just as brainstorm to get some ideas of what to talk about beforehand.

The point of networking is to build relationships. It can take years to pay off. Most people make the mistake of being too promiscuous or too impatient.