Hi, I know I've posted about this before so sorry to bring it up again, but I really need some advice on how to deal with waiting for a viva. It's still 6 weeks away. I can go fo a while feeling OK, but then I get waves of anxiety that almost feel painful, to the point that I can't get my breath. I have a job that I love, and I'm just about managing to hold it together without revealing any of the PhD related mental health probs I've had. I fear I will slip. I fear I will get to the viva and lose my composure, start crying and be too overwhelmed with the situation to continue. I feel like just running away and hiding, sleeping for a thousand years. I am seeing my GP this week, and feel I need to ask for something like valium or a beta blocker, or at least increase my anti-d dose. Has anyone else had these and if so did they help?

Hi Kronkondile

I am really sorry to hear that you are stressed right now. It must be tough having this 'hanging over your head' so to speak. I am not at your stage yet so I am not sure how helpful I can be.

I have never asked for betablockers but I know a friend of mine has done so many times for various stressful events and has found them useful. If I am honest, I am not sure as I would be worried about 'dulling' my response so I think the best thing is for you to be completely open with your GP and see what he/she says. I hope you have an understanding GP.

Have you thought about any alternatives? E.g. relaxation techniques, yoga, pilates, exercise etc? Whilst this won't take the stres away, it may help you feel better able to manage this in between time if that makes sense.

I have full admiration for you for having submitted, that is one hell of an achievement in my book.

Take care and calming vibes heading your way, you can do it!

Fluffymonster

Hello

Beta-blockers will not dull your thinking, they simply take away some of the physical symptoms of fear/stress. So, if you are bothered by racing heart, sweating, trembling etc then beta-blockers could really help. You will still feel as apprehensive BUT when the physical symptoms of stress are no longer apparent, you will feel much more relaxed and in control.

If you have other symptoms (such as inability to sleep), your GP may think a benzodiazepine drug (e.g diazepam) more suitable. However, these do have sedating effects.

You are wise to consult your GP, they are usually very sympathetic (having done higher degrees themselves!). There is no shame to taking something that can help you to control your nerves and allow you to do yourself justice in the viva.

Also, please arrange some mocks with your supervisors. I was appalling in my first mock viva, I felt more nervous then than I did in the real thing (I'm always far more confident with strangers than with my supervisors!). Although the mocks are stressful, they give you a chance to work through any nasty questions before the real thing and will ultimately give you confidence that you can answer the tough questions. Practice really does help.

Lastly, please remember that most examiners are nice people, they will understand that the student is probably terrified and will do their best to put you at ease. After all, they've all been on the other side of the fence too! If you did find yourself getting panicked, you could always ask for a 5 min break to have a glass of water and to compose yourself, it's an acceptable thing to do. Take care.

meditations are excellent for learning to calm your nerves through breath control and accessing your own natural stillness (you can get some good ones free via pod-casts & iTunes). Sorry if this all sounds a bit hippy - but beta-blockers are powerful drugs. Another alternative you could try is Valerian, which you can get from Holland & Barrett, which is a natural plant extract and comes in tablet or tea form and is a nice gentle natural sedative. Also really lay off the coffee, tea & chocolate as caffeine really aggravates palpitations. Finally my partner has had great success after years of suffering with insomnia and restless sleep - with Chinese herbs and acupuncture & personally I recommend Reike.
Ann is right though that your GP should be super understanding having been through an MD themselves~ they know the score. It’s a good move to go tell them how you are feeling.

check out
http://www.reikifed.co.uk/

You can find a Reiki practioner in your area

Sorr Ann, I was not sure, I did not mean to say that BB would cause dulling, . I just worry about taking drugs sometimes (unnecessarily probably!) The GP idea is a good one, as you say they should be understanding and be able to help.

Hi

I'm sorry that you're feeling down at the moment. I was wondering whether your GP could refer you to a Cognitive Behavioural therapist.

I think your distress may not stem from 'Viva anxiety' alone ( I may be wrong).

While I belief certain drugs can relieve anxiety symptoms in the short term - a long term strategy to deal with your stress without medication would be better. ( as were all going to come across anxious periods in our life and prescribed or self medication isn't always the answer)

The CBT therapist would help you to use cognitive techniques to relax as well as improve your "self" talk so you don't wind yourself up.

I wish you all the best

"You can find a Reiki practioner in your area" - In Kazakhstan, we like Reiki Martin very much...

Seriously though, I haev considerable first hand experience of this, but am at work at moment so will answer more fully in about 90 mins...

Thank you for your replies and kind words.

I am seeing my GP tomorrow morning, alone in my office now, have been crying and trying to compose myself. Have spoke to a very good friend today too who I will see later.

I've emailed my supervisor asking for a practice viva - I'd like to do this sooner rather than later,so I can identify any weaknesses.

I have had a few counselling sessions recently, which helped, but the counsellot works limited hours and as I've just started a new job I don't want to take the p*** and take time out for counselling. On the surface, I'm doing Ok in my job and want to maintain that impression.

Thank you all again, so much