I don't know what to do with myself now so....I was in PhD programme for over 6.5 years (I had 8 months maternity and 2 years of extension due to personal circumstances) and I failed to write up PhD (I had only about 10000 words) and I was strongly advised to withdraw to not let university fail me. I am not sure how is this put me in the better position (it looks def better in Uni and my supervisors records). Anyway- I did withdraw from PhD on my submission deadline day (hard deadline as it is UK).I did a lot of work and my supervisor still wants me to publish after I feel ready to look at the stuff again (to get what he think could be high impact publication) and to "prove to myself"...- I don't know what really I can prove?...I think I might get good references as well despite the outcome.... I was told that perhaps it wasn't meant to be this time and I might start clean again when my life sort out and I feel ready to do so....I can't find words to describe how I feel but that is not the reason I post here. I don't know what I want to do now and if I ever would like to return to academia but the fact is now I have debts and young family and I need provide for ... What to put on my CV for this over 6 years PhD failure? What should I say to potential employers (without being to descriptive about personal reasons behind extensions)? I feel like I have leprosy now as everybody avoiding me and Uni provide no career advice to drop-outs or any other support apart from everybody feel pity for me (more in a sense - wow- I'm so glad I'm not her). If like I do not exist at all.... Any one can advice me please? I feel so down and so lost...I need a job, desperately... Please help...

Sorry to hear this.

To try to find a job you could try adding your PhD time on your CV as 'research assistant' or something similar. You will need your supervisor to agree to this though if they are providing a reference.

This might be easier than explaining that you started a PhD but didn't finish it.

Bear in mind that your supervisor might not have your best interests at heart if they are recommending you publish - they want the publications for their career as well. If you want the publications though then obviously write them.

Could you say that you took a career break to have your children and studied at the same time but it didn't work out - suitably vague!

I wasn't research assistant so I don't want to lie... The thing that timefortea suggests is more or less what actually happened as my children had medical condition, later on I had problems with myself as well...The reason I've stayed so long instead move on was I was told by everybody that it's going to be ok and I'll get there eventually...well..I didn't and I kind of knew it 2 years ago but agreed to extend.... I don't know if I would like to publish - it would be such a shame to just bin all the stuff- as it is quite a bit of new science, but on the other hand...I can't force myself to even think about it... With all this project - I think it's more like divorce - it is rarely one person fault. How I should put it in CV than- PhD student, PhD candidate, Phd - withdrawn? I am so down as I know how bad this looks like in the eyes of employers... I've never been so miserable in my life....The thing I regret the most is that my passion and love for science( I had this since 6-7 years old) just died...or disappeared somewhere and I don't know how to define myself other than scientist. Should I omit it ( as I have MSc in other discipline and 4 years work experience) and pretend I was on maternity for 6 years? But I've gained quite a few skills during my PhD so...how to show them without showing this massive failure...

Hello Zoya, I can really sympathize with you. Doing a PhD and juggling family commitments is not easy even if your kids are healthy, I can only imagine the pressure that you must have felt at the time. I would only like to suggest to learn to be kind to yourself, because if you don't why should any one else?

You have gone through very difficult times, but now you can start to do something for yourself. Withdrawing from your PhD was only one step in the very long path of life!

There is so much more that you can do, but whatever you choose, try to be realistic about the time/ commitment that you need to put into it, and then go for it!

I very much agree with your supervisor that publishing your research in a high impact journal is important - and I would add that it might open you some doors in academia.

If you decide to look for jobs it is important that you elaborate what happened and that you feel confident in the way you articulate the situation to your prospective employer. You have done research at postgraduate level, that you had to discontinue for family reasons. You have learnt a number of skills that will are potentially very attractive for a future employer, but ultimately it is down to you to sell them. You can make it!

If I had a child with a medical condition during my PhD, I would have quit too. So it is completely understanble that you quite, prospective employers will understand that.

You really do need to be kinder to yourself. Have you thought of getting some counselling via your GP? I think it will help you come to terms with your loss (of the PhD) and boost your self confidence.

thank you all for your warm words...I guess gaining back that confidence might be the hardest part (apart from getting the job).
I try to focus on good stuff - like my family ( kids are finally ok and they are just great!), as for GP..I waited 6 months for paediatric visit (by the time they were ready to see him I had to go private route or watch my child suffer!), I've tried to get some counselling at my uni...waiting time : 6 weeks. The meeting was a joke and lasted about 20 min. I don't believe in it anymore.I'll be fine and I know I'll get out of this. It's just not an easy thing mentally and practically.. Now my husband, who was extremely supportive and great, is depressed as all that kept him going , apart from our family, he said, was that one day I'll get my PhD and we'll be set for life....

I've sent you a private message Zoya. I would say try another counsellor till you find the right one.

I agree with Hugh. Counselling services at unis are usually very busy and under staffed, so if you need support you will probably have to look somewhere else.

Having to withdraw from your PhD pretty much at the last minute was a huge knock to your confidence and it is normal to feel disappointed and at loss about what to do next.

You need to elaborate what happened and regain focus on what you want to do next.
Also, your colleagues might avoid you simply because they don't know what to say or how to help. But if you want to pursue your dream of working in academia, I would speak to your supervisor again and talk through your options here and now.

I very much agree with who says that we cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude to it. This is why getting support is so important.

Hi, Zoya. I am sorry for what you are going through. I have a friend who had to leave after 5 years in a PhD. He had family issues and his supervisor decided to leave the country. He was real upset, took some time off, but he got a job as an academic technician for the past 5 years after that. He wrote PhD candidate in his CV and when they asked him, he explained it. He is doing ok now, and when we last spoke, he said that he feels that he would try doing a PhD again in a couple years time. I think that you could perhaps put "Graduate research scholar" if you do not want to state PhD candidate. If you do not want to work in academia, you could try working in the industry first as all the experiences/training that you got while a PhD will be valued there and it is potentially easier to get into industry without a PhD than with one (overqualified unexperienced bias). You can always do a PhD again a few years time, if you want, just like my friend. Take care and please, don't blame yourself. Take some time off for now, and stay strong. Hugs....

Thank you TRU for sharing that story and the idea of "graduate research scholar" I think it sounds much better than PhD withdraw.
I don't mind going back to industry (where I worked after my MSc and before my PhD for 4 years).The thing is my self esteem (that wasn't particularly high) now hit the rock bottom. Of course I understand that my route wasn't the easiest one but I need to admit that there is a lot of my own fault in this failure as well. I don't think I could work at Uni and being reminded what could have been every single day. I don't think that I will ever get a chance to do another PhD as well because : 1) I'm 36 - so already old for academic career 2) hugely in debts so no way can afford self funded PhD 3) under fierce competition for scholarships and history of failures there is zero probability of me securing another funding. I think it is fair to say that it is over for me in respect of PhD. I need to say I am not good enough for this kind of job and I've learnt it the hard way. What is really sad is after all this time I walk away with nothing when even a MSc can get PG diploma if one fails MSc. I can't afford to take time off as I need to eat, feed my kids, pay bills and pay off debts.Time off is a luxury I can't afford I'm afraid. Have no idea how to even begin with my messed up CV...No help from Uni either...Even Google have not much to offer...Only you guys :) Should I write skills based CV perhaps? Explain situation in cover letter, blame everything on circumstances or myself (I think the true lays in the middle). I can't even be fair to myself as I feel so crap.How can I sell myself to employer?.....

Don't give up. 36 is hardly old! Look at the real life experience you got. Please don't undermine that. True, academic life is not as fulfilling as it appears to be-very calm and sort of secured. But, to experience that without going through the academic power and politics is impossible. Academic career is not any different than any other role in life. It is social and political. I see so many students who come with funding and are married but have no publications even when they finish PhD and they think their supervisors will back them up. It looks embarrassing on them as they think emotional support and having good relations with academic people will replace the lack of publications. Eventually, they fizzle out as academic is about publications and raising grants.. Academic world is very commercialised with just a very formal language which kind of hides its commercial and power angle but, it very much exists and it is exhausting. Academic life is hyper competitive and it's a war out there. At least you got one aspect of life sorted-family-which for many is challenging. On the other hand, you might have another chance and hope you can continue from you left.

To answer you, Zoya:
1) Age 36 is young. My other friend graduated with a Science PhD aged 50.
2) PhD funding - My friend was sponsored by her employer. Ever thought about that before thinking of self-funding?
3) No time for time out - Fine. But you need to straigten yourself before you approach employers. Again, do NOT blame yourself. There is no such things as "not good enough for this kind of job". Perhaps you did not find the role suitable, but it was never a question of being good enough or not. Please, somehow, get your self-esteem back. And DON'T put it on your cover letter that you withdrew. Just put "Graduate research scholar" or "Graduate reearcher" in CV/resume. If they ask in the interview, then answer. Start sending resumes out ASAP. It will be a while before there is any hit anyway.
4) No help from Uni or Google - You are no longer a student, so it is expected that they no longer help. I think you have been searching Google wrong if you say there is no help. You don't mind going back to industry? Ok, so redirect your strategy to going to industry. Search for transitioning from academia to industry. There are HEAPS of websites on that, and possible more mourning on why not to do a PhD if you want to go into industry. Read THOSE. Actually that might be good for your self-esteem too. Maybe even write to those who author those websites and see if you can get advice from them.
5) And plan, strategize for your future. While nothing can be done to undo the past, you can do something about the future. Invest your energy into that. Don't give up!

still unable to do anything...just basic body functions (minus proper sleep) plus childcare function. I've tried to write a cv but can't.....arguments with husband...suicidal thoughts...I feel I'm falling deeper and deeper into dark cave.... only my childrens motivate me to get dress up or do anything at all.Only when I see them smile I can stop crying for a while... I felt so much better few weeks ago...I thought I can deal with it but after a while it hit me.....and I'm on my knees now.....Why it is so much worse now than it felt before? Is it normal ? How long it should last? ....