Hi,
I’m in the final year of my PhD, and have struggled with perfectionism and procrastination related to an anxiety condition throughout my program. While it’s been difficult, I’ve always been able to push through it in the past to get the work done, but that’s becoming increasingly harder. I can usually research and note1take just fine, but when it comes to drafting I get so anxious about whether it will be ‘good enough’ that I will do anything but write.
I try to set small goals - eg working for just 5 minutes - or rewards for getting things done, or using pomodoros, or having. A schedule, but more often than not I ignore all these strategies and while away hours on the internet and by the end of the day I feel guilty and miserable, and the fear of never finishing feels stronger because of my lack of progress.
I do genuinely want to finish, I have spent too much effort on it to pull out now. And while it’s tempting to quit to avoid these feelings of writing guilt, I think they’ll only be displaced by sense of failure. Each day I intend to write but cannot get my behavior to follow suit. I’m seeing a psychologist in a month who will hopefully help me work through the underlying issues, but I’m wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences during the PhD, and how you tackled them?
The irony is that your fear of failure is causing you to go down a path which virtually guarantees that this is where you will end up.
There are no easy fixes. It all boils down to how badly you want to finish,
There is only one sustainable way to write a thesis in my experience and that is to break the document down into manageable 2 to 5 page sections. This should be done before a single word is written. Just siting down and writing and making it up as you go seriously risks producing a poor document. Once you have the problem (the thesis) broken down into those small sections, progress can be very quick and easy because the structure of the thesis has written itself in that breakdown.
I agree with pm133, breaking it down can make it far less daunting. One of the things I do is, write sub sections as separate documents. Where I know that no-one else will read it but I try to cover that little area in as much detail as possible, far more than I will ever need it to be. So that I have 2000 words of okay-ish writing on a topic, that I can then refer to. Most of the writing isn't useful and I can probably fit it into 500 words but it gets me writing and lets me see what is actually important. Because one of my problems is that there is so much I want to mention but in fact doesn't add to the work
It is not efficient but can gets you writing and I want to help people in similar positions
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