A little help please, is it possible to be a full time Phd student and still be married (plus a kid)? Can this be done? and how? how do you have time for studying and also the family? please I’d appreciate some help here.

Hi
My Husband is a full time PhD Student. we got married in his first year, he is now coming to the end of his first year.
I think as long as your partner understand your commitment and you both find time for each other it can work!
My Husband treats his PhD as a 9-5 job so we get evenings together. Its important to remember that a PhD isn't forever!!

Yes it's possible; you have to multi-task so it helps if you're a woman ;-).



Sometimes it works, sometimes not but it's not impossible. I'm married with four children, a hubby and a dog and I'm on the home strait now - yippee

Thank you for the reply, very motivating! I'm currently a masters student and will finish next year and also a full time employee. It been difficult for my family to adapt to me studying and keeping the family together, but after 1 year I think that I managed to organize myself better. But right now we are at a turmoil, since I have plans to start my Phd as a full time student (to finish faster) in another state and not working in my current job any more. So is it possible to be married with family and still have a decent income as a full time Phd student? My wife thinks that going for a Phd while already having established a house and an income would be just going backwards instead of forwards. Has anyone been in this time of situation before? Help please.

Hi although I'm not married I do live with my boyf and have been doing so for nearly 4 years. He works full time and has put up with me studying for my undergrad, masters and now the first year of my PhD. It can be tricky at times as he works different shifts each week so sometimes we don't see much of each other so I try and schedule my work around him which normally allows us to spend at least 1 day together a week even if I am studying in the next room whilst he is watching telly at least I can go and spend time with him if I want to.

With regards to income that depends very much on what funding you may be able to get for your PhD and on your wife's income. As we don't have children our living expenses are fairly low and my studentship is about the same as what my boyf earns so we are actually better off now than before I started the PhD. This is because I was doing a minimum wage part time job to fund my masters.

Maybe your wife is a bit worried about the type of job you will be able to get afterwards.

Your wife not fully agreeing could very likely mean trouble ahead. It is a big committment, there's no point saying otherwise. Some people are able to treat it like a 9-5 job and are quite ruthless with their timing etc. However this can be difficult if you have children as if you're the one 'not working' you essentially are on call more for school runs etc. This of course then delays your PhD. Also, no matter how efficient a person is, when your PhD is drawing to a close, it is a very stressful time. Overruns on time can be difficult for people who don't fully understand the PhD process to comprehend. It's different to other courses and degrees; there is not a final submission date. Rather you submit when you and your subv thinks it's good enough. The lack of a completion date can cause tension so maybe you and your wife need to fully understand what you might be getting into before you commit.

I don't mean to sound negative but realistic.

Yes, it's possible. I'm married with 3 children, and in the first year of my full-time PhD. I've had to mark out my territory at home, and limit the number of evenings spent reading. It's been a huge adjustment for my family, as they've assumed for years that I'll always do the shopping, school run, dry cleaning etc., and things have definitely changed on that score. I expect the reason it's tolerated is because it's fully funded, and may enable me to access a wider range of opportunities in the long run.

Of course it is possible (not sure it's adviseable though - see my other post about less-than-supportive other half! ) I am married with three children - hope to finish within 2 years.:p

Make sure your partner is aware of the time commitment, and what doing a PhD means. Don't try to do a PhD in a completely different city to where your spose is living. It will require dedication and persistence to balance your time commitments, and you will probably burn out eventually, so try to ration yourself and not go too hard to early.

Because lacking the first two points will end up tears which are none to fun to be in.