hi folks

i recently started a phd in september, its going slowly at the minute and im not quite sure of the specific direction its going take, but thats not why i am posting this.

i am finding that some of the guys in my phd group (who are in either 2nd year or who had just finished their phd but still hanging about doing post docs etc) are very 'serious' and (i think) have the attitude of 'oh here is a newbie who knows nothing, lets not be very friendly to him'.....

the general atmosphere of the phd group is quite serious and there is not much talking done during the day - totally opposite to a place i used to work a few years back which had lots of banter and was enjoyable.

i realise that this is a phd environment and is totally different, but i am finding the atmosphere quite strict and not what i am used to.

has anyone else experienced this at all? it is making me re-think whether this is the right thing to do and should i just get a decent graduate program job.

thanks for reading!

Hey there! I think it would be a shame to give up your PhD over something like this. It can be difficult to join groups when you're the only new one and you have to get to know everyone, and it is easy to feel inferior when you're just starting off and everyone else is way ahead of you. Sometimes it just takes time to get to know people, and sometimes it can really be an effort. Could you ask if people want to go for an after-work drink one evening (maybe as a Christmas thing)? Sometimes folk are very serious about their work but let their hair down when they're out of the office environment. Alternatively, can you get to know PhD students in other groups? Sometimes it's nice to be pals with people who are at the same stage as you, so maybe you could track down a few other new starters to hang out with? Not everyone in academia is so serious, I'm sure you will be able to find some like-minded people if you look hard enough! Best, KB

Is this in the office you're working?

If so, working in a shared office is really tricky. In my office at the mo we;ve just had a new PhD student start and he will not be quiet - so its got the point where we can't start up conversations because it ends up in a 2 hour talk. And you can't do this every day if you want to get work done. I would imagine they're trying to 'set the tone' with you. If you are reading/writing you don't want people talking in the background constantly. We often 'go for a coffee' etc. if we want a real natter so we don't disturb everyone else in the room, so you could suggest this to one or two of your colleagues.

So I guess what I'm saying (with snow brain) is that they may have had a bad experience in the past and prefer to be quite strict with talking in your office, but may actually be very friendly and sociable. if that makes sense!?