Hi,
I am applying for PhD in US and UK universities which require me to write a SOP for the application process. I have written one including my research experience till date. please have a look and suggest improvements.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

The diversity of life in oceans is fascinating. I was attracted towards seas and their inhabitants during my undergraduate study at XYZ College, University of XYZ which was located close to the Arabian Sea. Here, at the Department of Zoology, I volunteered in the major research project on the coastal biodiversity which involved spending several hours on a small boat conducting transects and documenting observations. The research drew attention of lawmakers towards a fragile ecosystem threatened by the proposed construction activities. I emerged with a more sophisticated insight on marine species and their conservation, wishing to improve this knowledge with higher studies. This new interest gained impetus in my 3-year course of B.Sc. (Zoology) which propelled me to create a repository of molluscan shells at the department for taxonomic studies. I led the team which collected, identified and preserved shells belonging to more than 100 molluscan species. These initial years spent near sea coasts left an indelible mark on me to pursue a research-based career in marine ecology.
I entered into a 2-year M.Sc. program (Zoology) at XYZ Institute, University of XYZ with a focus on learning new tools to study biodiversity, population dynamics and ecological responses of marine communities towards environmental changes. I conducted a research project which investigated the diversity, abundance and bioactive potential of intertidal organisms at ABC coast. This study threw light on changes in species diversity and abundance under severe anthropogenic pressure on the polluted Mumbai coasts. After masters, I spent two months at XYZ Department, XYZ Institute, gaining experience on sampling macrobenthos from a river estuary using a grab and later analysis of samples at the laboratory.
One who has knowledge has the ability to make a difference. Climate change has changed the world’s perception towards marine ecosystems. My interest in studying its impacts on vulnerable species inspired me to apply as a student member for the XYZ Scientific Expedition to Antarctica (2008-09). I was selected for oral presentation on the topic “Study of effects of changing climatic factors on ABC’S physiology” which I defended successfully in front of top experts from the field. I was in Antarctica for 3 months and conducted on-board experiments on ABC. Live ABC was sampled from Prydz Bay, East Antarctica and experiments were conducted to measure their metabolic rates at different temperature ranges. This fantastic experience exposed me to the working conditions on a ship during rough weather which I handled well. It also gave me a rare opportunity to assist the scientists from ABC Institute of XYZ who were studying the abundance and distrib

Antpan Hey,

I read your SOP and its really interesting but maybe it could be more organized in terms of chronology. Maybe more emphasis on undergraduate courses and projects that you did. Lastly, there could be more attractive introduction part, maybe more details about your "eager" to do PhD:) I hope it will be helpful, please ask more if you would like to. Best luck for the admissions