I'm at the end of my first year and having real doubts. I don't think I want an academic career - I'm pretty sure I want to teach in a school - and although aspects of my work I still love, other aspects have really been getting me down. Mainly I hate the loneliness and the constant reassessment of what I'm doing without any positive feedback. Plus I feel after one year I have little to show and am still short on essential skills. Recently I decided I'd explore leaving the PhD to get a teaching job, saw a recruitment agency yesterday and tomorrow have an interview for a job! Unfortunately though I'm still torn - part of me wants to go ahead and leave for the security and lifestyle of normal work, not to mention leaving behind the parts of the PhD I hate, but there's also part that says I'm good at what I'm doing now, this is the best chance I'll ever have to do it and the grass is always greener. I wouldn't go part time because at the moment I'm in the optimum situation of being full time and funded so I can't see that I'd get any more done if I were doing two things in my life. Of course the chances are I won't get this job tomorrow and will have more time to think through my options. Part of me thinks that I should plough on with the PhD knowing that I can only do this now but the teaching career can come later, but the other part knows that I'm really going to struggle to get through the next two years (plus!) feeling like I do now. I haven't mentioned things to my supervisor as such (she's known about concerns but I've never used the word 'quit') but now I'll have to as I need a reference from her. Any advice on how to progress?

I know people doing PhD's who have quit and gone onto teach in various positions (ie to teach English as a foreign language/private schools) and have been just as happy using their academic skills or love of the subject in a context other than academic research. It is your choice of course. But there are some options that you may be able to consider - ie a full suspension of your PhD and funding for a year - this gives you the option to come back. Your supervisor, if supportive, may want you to explore this as it will give you time out and also the breathing space to find out if the grass really is greener. Secondly it would give you one years teaching experience. Usually suspensions are given for personal reasons - I know of someone who went travelling for 6 months and one person who worked for a year (albeit in the field that they were conducting research within). You may have to write an interesting justificatory statement on your form (which may again if your supervisor is supportive will fudge with you) in the case of being funded by one of the major funding bodies. Of course you will not be paid during this time but it would stop you clocking up time for completion/bank your funding for later.

You are coming up to the next academic year so you would need to sort this quickly (they say it needs 2-3 months but often university administrations will acknowledge the form and then work out any over-payments etc later). I am sure that your supervisor will help you - nobody told me about the suspension process - I really could have done with one early on (various reasons) and now they have become extensions instead. Luckily the university and department have been extremely supportive and have done so much to help me through. They do want you to complete. But how you do this is flexible. Ultimately, I am sure that if you decide to go for good they will understand - it does happen and more frequently than you would suppose.

Normally you can apply for positions and ask that referees not be contacted until after the interview. After the interview, potential employers normally decide whether or not they feel it worthwhile to obtain references on the basis of how the interview went. You shouldn't really need to tell your supervisor just yet, you might like to wait and see what develops as a result of the interview. However, if you gave them permission to seek a reference prior to interview that's a different matter.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

Hi Megara_9191. I find, as with you, that the worst aspects of my PhD are the experiences of loneliness and uncertainty that comes from a lack of feedback I get with my work. Unlike you though, I never had the feelings you have now until the end of my second year (I'm about to go into my third). I'm a registered AHP, so I could go into a secure and relatively well paid job if I wanted - with excellent career prospects. But I consider myself to far into my PhD now - I have data and all my research sites set up, so it would, I feel, be a real shame if I packed it in, something I feel I would regret forever. I'm going to put up, shut up and just get the damn thing now.
I could be wrong, because I'm not quite as knowledgeable as some of the other members of this forum on such matters, but you're in the best position now to quit if you want to. You're not too far into the process and so, though I don't know what you're personality is like, it would be less of a burden for you in the future. Plus, you can always go back to doing another PhD in the future. There are some posters on this forum that have done just that (for a variety of reasons) - Bilbobaggins being one. So it won't be the end of the world and, as I once read on this forum: 'Worse things happen at sea!'. So you could see what the world of employment is like, as opposed to the interminable torture of a PhD, and then come back to it if it's not for you.
However, you're also in a typical position of a lot of PhD students; you don't feel like you've made much progress, you have little to show, and you don't feel like you have all the skills you need. I'm not sure what your field is but I was in exactly the same position at the end of my first year (I still am now in terms of the skills - shhh!). I actually spoke to my supervisor (now my ex-supervisor) about the areas of concern you have at the start of my second year, and he said that doing a PhD is about training to be a researcher, embarking on a journey and learning on the job. It might be that at the end of my PhD I don't have a lot to show, but I'll have a bloody good discussion chapter and be able to demonstrate an awful lot of learning and effort in becoming a qualified researcher. Perhaps like you if you choose to continue your PhD. Plus, your uni should be provide training sessions on the skills you need, and if not you can always network and find support from other researchers from your field. I've been doing this.
I've probably just recited the internal argument you've already had with yourself. The bottom line is if you do decide to end your PhD, you can see if the grass really is greener and then always come back to doing a PhD at a later point. Life happens. If RJB (I think that's the poster's name) is about, he may be able to give you some further insight, as I recall he's not had a totally dissimilar experience.
With regards to getting a reference off your supervisor, if you've had a good working relationship her, and she understands the thought that has gone into your decision, she should be willing to give you a reference. I would imagine she would want you to succeed in whatever you decide to do.

Thanks all of you. Raising these issues here and with friends and supervisor (whom I told yesterday) has actually been very enlightening. Today's interview didn't go anywhere because they decided they only wanted someone part time, yet I actually felt relieved to have such an easy decision, since it all felt somehow wrong anyway. I suddenly feel like maybe I should be ploughing on - people have made me realize that although the loneliness and unrewarding feedback is still a problem, my primary problem is one specific aspect of my work and should therefore be surmountable. Of course, none of this means it actually will be possible to keep going, but I'm suddenly not convinced that I'm quite ready to walk away. One of the profs I knew from my MA and BA suggested that the problem lies with my supervisor and/or department and I think this may be something I need to consider too. I'm not sure I'm getting as much support as I need and maybe now that the problems are out in the open it will get easier, and if not maybe I should consider moving. As you probably realize I'm very very much stuck between two minds on this one, but just talking about it has really helped me start thinking things over more clearly. Thanks!

Sounds like you're going to stay on. Good luck! I'd say a good 80% of people decide to stay on after having doubts (plucked that number out of the air based on those I know). Make sure it's for you though - would you like to keep doing this the rest of your life? I couldn't! Good luck whatever you decide to do :)

I do feel like I want to try to stay on, but I still have to deal with lots of problems to make that possible. One of the suggestions has been that I switch institution to the uni I was at for my BA and MA and where I still know people and have some close friends. There would be someone to supervise me there as I realise that some of my problems stem from my current supervision. I can't move but could go and stay for a couple of days a week during term time perhaps. However, I'm AHRC funded and I know they have strict rules on transferring. I've been told they should support it because they won't want me to quit but does anyone have any experience of this?

Sorry to be rehashing concerns last visited some time ago (77 days in fact!). I'm back in a quandary about what I want to do with my life. Right now it isn't the PhD. I have to write my upgrade chapter which is meant to be in next month although they've said as long as it's by the end of January it's fine. Currently though that's just not happening. I spend hours and hours looking at it and just not getting anywhere and it's really killing me. The teaching recruitment agency have just approached me again about a job and I said it wasn't quite what I was looking for. Now they've come back and asked if I'm still looking at all and I don't know what to say. At least I should perhaps have applied for the one that they've just suggested... If I'm back in this state of mind again should I realize that I'm never going to get through the next 2 years, regardless of what supportive people say. I spend so much time trying to convince my parents (and other opposers) that I'm doing the right thing with the PhD , I feel terrible that really this is how I'm feeling. :-(

Hey Megara, to me it sounds as though you know what you want to do, and it isn't the PhD. I guess most people go through rocky patches with it, and usually we all encourage people to carry on and battle through it, but you've been thinking about this for a long time now and it really sounds like you have made your mind up that the PhD isn't for you. You've given it a year- I think you have spent enough time on it now to know that you are not enjoying it and that probably will not change. You also know what else you'd rather be doing with your time...maybe now would be a good time to make it happen. I have a poster on my office wall with the phrase on it, 'If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place'. Excuse the cheesiness of it (my office is filled with posters with cheesy quotes on them!) but it reminds me to chase what I want in my life. It can be hard, changing your mind about something that you thought you wanted, and sometimes it can be hard to act on it for the fear that you will regret it or change your mind back the other way. I have had to make a few early career changes (from applying to do vet science to changing my mind and withdrawing my applications, then going to do biology and dropping out in second year because it wasn't for me, then deciding to do psychology, which was finally the right decision!) and I am happier than ever now- I have never looked back. Of course the decision is your own, but sometimes tough decisions can turn out to be the best decisions ever once you have made up your mind. Do what is right for you and what will make you happy. That's my take on it anyway, of course other people might have different views on it. Best of luck with it, KB.

At some point I decided to finish the PhD simply and only because I did not want to live with the what -ifs I would have had had I not finished...I figured I can always go and do whatever I would have done had I quit the PhD, even after I finish. Its not a life sentence into academia...it could be a stepping stone into that, but by no means do you HAVE to go that path. So whatever job--I might have done upon quitting the PhD, I can go and do even with it. Perhaps its because I am a bit long in the tooth, that I have realised choices are not so stark and black and white as they seem--some things do circle back into your life--and few very choices in life are irrevocable. Quitting a PhD is one. Staying on is not, because it simply defers the decision to quit a while longer---just because you stay now does not mean you do not quit later--you are never robbed of that choice. I used to think of quitting as an option I had any day I wanted to use it. So then I would decided, meh, no, not today, not quitting, and carry on. PhD is hard slog. Is it worth it? I don't know...

You might want to take a look at another thread which relates to 'Failed PhD - Any Advice?' You will read about a litany of academics causing significant problems for students in reserach. You've learned useful techniques and know something about how to write up results at this point. Please take a look at this thread and be shocked at the closed mindedness of universities twards students when it suits their own political agenda. If you genuinely feel that you can't go on...then don't, why hurt yourself? The PhD doesn't define you as a person, its a part of who you are, you're a hard worker and obviously clever.

If I were you I would grit my teeth and try to complete the PhD. I am a qualified teacher and taught in a couple of secondary schools before embarking on a PhD. I did my PGCE years ago.
I presume that you must be considering working in the independent/private sector which is less demanding in terms of discipline problems, but you will have a lot of planning to do and pressure to get good results out of the pupils. If you are intending to work in the state sector then consider how you might feel if you are battling with a difficult class, setting detentions, marking books and planning lessons. I was tempted three times to leave my PhD and return to teaching but then thought about how I would feel when I had left. I'll be going back into teaching when I've finished. My advice would be to stick with the PhD and then go into teaching. Good Luck ;-)

Oh dear, thank you all for your posts. Today work is going quite well and I'm glad I'm doing it. I wonder whether when it's going badly I take a nose-dive in state of mind and therefore feel like everything is terrible rather than just the bit I'm doing now. I'm also under pressure to get this work written (all new stuff for upgrade because of a slight change of direction isn't ideal!) and that's probably making things bleaker. I'm seeing my supervisor on Friday so I'll try to talk the problems over with her this time rather than just announcing that I might quit! The sad thing is that deep down I know I'm good at what I do but I get very bleak when it's a struggle, especially if I'm feeling that I won't go for an academic job at the end. However, I totally agree with the point that it's only a couple more years (hopefully!) and if I leave I might regret it forever. I guess I'm not going to make any instant decisions: seeing if I can get the upgrade done in time and up to a good standard I think will really influence the decision anyway and I don't want to leave just because this is the first time I have a serious deadline and it's a bit tough to get the work done. Thank you all for your support and sorry for my rather inconsistent attitude to it all! :$