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I don't even know how to start, because it is for me an unimaginable situation. I am about to finish my PhD. My supervisor has been creating some difficulties, slowing my pace down. I have asked him many times before why, I have explained that for financial reasons I wish to finish ASAP and the forth. So I don't understanding why he is doing it. He is a young (40's I think) married man, father of two, and we get along fine, I think. We had a very polite professional relationship, but I got the vibe that he wanted it to be more personal. So we know discuss a little bit about conferences that we attend, or life in general. So in this struggle to understand why he his not reviewing the work promptly, not wishing to publish promptly and so forth, I started putting a few pieces of the puzzle together.
There is this sexual vibe that I get from him, nothing wrong with that I think. But one year ago, for example, he scheduled a very late meeting, and mid-through closed the drapes and turned the light off (although it was night), and there was this sexual tension on his behalf that I only understood afterwards. I don't usually pay attention to the sexual side of professional relationships, more interested in intellectual conversations about work-related issues. And yesterday, he definitely made a simulation of oral sex with his hand, amidst a discussion of 'problems going away'. Not the first of this type of gestures (many people have called me naif because I do not attend to these sexual signs, sometimes on purpose as in this case). So I got worried. Is it possible that he is asking for sexual favours to see me through the PhD? I just can't believe it. I also can't economically afford much more delay. What should I do? Is this even possible? Am I reading the signs right? How can I be sure? Please help. Thank you.

It is difficult to establish exactly what a persons intentions are purely through gestures or comments as we can all take things out of context sometimes.  That said, maybe you are right with your suspicions. If I were in your situation I would establish meetings with him only during the daytime, when others will be around.  Make sure the meetings are held in an appropriate location. Keep the discussions related to your work rather than impeding on your social affairs.  I would never concede to sexual favours in return for a PhD and if this is suggested then you need to seek advice from the university of sexual exploitation (although I sincerely hope this won't happen). Have you another supervisor you can consult regarding your PhD progress and completion?  In the meantime, concentrate on your submission, you can submit without supervisors agreement (although not usually recommended). Additionally not all of your sups need to agree submission, just one will do!

This is plain sexual harrassment and you need to get out of his way.

Can you obtain some sort of evidence discretely of his actions? To be blunt, if so you need to act straight away and make a formal complaint.

The problem is without evidence, currently it's your word against his (I've seen with my own eyes how Universities close ranks against a probable troublemaker). Has he acted this way with other students? That would count in your favour.

I understand how badly you want your Ph.D., however, it's not worth this kind of harrassment. What happens if he goes further with you or another student?

With a lack of clear evidence, I suggest for now you look to change your primary supervisor to get out of his way. Find another excuse for the time being and do as said above, working instead with your second supervisor (who you can request becomes your main supervisor.

With PhD in the bag, you can then make a formal complaint and stop this man. Or is he the kind of person who might do something stupid if you wait until then?

Talk to the student counselling service and they can give you clear advice on what action to take.

I was subject to harrassment (more by day-to-day treatment, nothing physical, nothing in the same league as you are facing) at post-doc. When the person is in a position of authority over you, you can feel helpless. Talking to people that can advise you will help make your course of action clearer.

Ian (alias 'Beefy')

Thank you so much.

He is my only supervisor, and I am fond of him. He also does not seem like that kind of guy, but maybe they never do. So I don't know if this is a general trend. But I will ask another lovely girl under his supervision. And being there it really doesn't feel like harassment, just part of natural course of action or communicative act. So it never crossed my mind with clarity until yesterday. Everything is vague enough to have a double meaning. Or this is just my naivety or refusal in beliving it. And it would explain the absence of explanations for slowing me down.

I am to finish in the following couple of months (I am reviewing chapters) because ignoring the signs and making some psychological  pressure have worked so far (just demanded a little bit more effort on my behalf). I just needed to listen to another opinion, so that I can prepare in case the picture changes, to prepare for the worse and know were to go, or what to do. So I really appreciate yours.

I will keep on ignoring and pressing; and set the backup plans in action. I have never been in a similar situation, so just couldn't believe this reading of events. Thank you so much.

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Am I misunderstanding this in that you're actually interested in his advances? If so, this is a private and personal matter between you and him.

If not, then he quite frankly comes across as seedy and the way you've written the above, his intent is clear. It's not you as a person he's interested in, he sees you as a potential bit on the side and just wants to get his leg over. What happens to you and your Ph.D. if he gets his way? Used and abused comes to mind.

Sorry to be so blunt. Is this anyway to treat both you and his wife?

Ian (alias 'Beefy')