Dear all, thank you very much for your support for reading this message.
I feel really bad about my work. I have no confident at all if i could finish the thesis and work it through the viva. The original work suggested by the supervisor which he guarantees there is novelty fails after my 4th year study. Since there was not much progress from this part, the supervisor suggested to study from a theoretical approach.. this thing stressed me out because i'm not good at it and the worst things is the topic is kinda have been being studied in different ways previously. i can't see how i could argue that the things we are doing are contributing to the field. And the supervisor still thinks it works....even the paper have been rejected for 4 times by reviewer with similar comments of limited novelty.... though i have been raising the same issue to him, he still thinks it works.
i'm totally depressed. one day i can motivate myself to feel good and the supervisor's approach may works, but the other day i might just break down and feeling this gonna be end of the world. i'm in this depression state for whole 3.5 months, some days i'm not able to have good sleeps and i have not been taking meals properly because of the depression and anxiety...i'm constantly scared and worried since the moment i wake up. i'm now in my 5th year, i can't see how i can graduate with this project. i may not be able to walk away from this because that would mean i have to refund the whole scholarship. so i try motivate myself to see if i could just carry on a little while and if i could finish the writing. but the sense and fear of pass or fail each time hinder me from the writing. i was so worried and scared about the project that i can't even finish reading a journal paper calmly when looking up for information. some days, i'm not even dare to open up my project file to start the writing. i think i don't have the passion for this project anymore. i didn't actually receive any proper guidance or monitoring for my project from the supervisor, i have to work most things out myself. i'm totally stressed out of it, it suck out all the happiness in me. i have been working on it for 4 years, i know i will feel lot better if i just let go. even my bf and mother said it is ok for me to walk away if you can't stand it anymore, you can still go to work, there is still other opportunity other than PhD. But sometime i feel bad if i just let it go like this and i'm worried of the consequences of dropping this PhD too, like how i'm going to explain what i have been doing all these years and am i going to find any job with the gap. but pressing myself to try to complete it for this fifth year makes me feel really miserable, waking up everyday feeling so awful that i can't progress anything on the writing. Is there anywhere that i can overcome this?
Hi Wing721,
I just want to write to you to let you know you're not alone. I'm in my final year and every single day is a struggle. I am coping with my depression through therapy and light medication, just to support my mental health through the final few months, but I still struggle with writing enough each day. I am also looking for advice and inspiration to keep going. So while I don't have much advice to pass on, I did just want to tell you that I'm in this struggle with you---and I truly believe we can both make it.
I feel your pain.
However I have been persevering through my depression and trying to ignore it for a while which got me nowhere. I suggest you get help for it. Go see your GP or a counselling service at your university. They will really help you. You dont need to suffer through this stuff alone.
Hope you feel ok!
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