Hi everyone, I'm six months into my PhD and whilst I was fine for the first few months, I have a deadline in two weeks time and I'm suddenly feeling the pressure. I know that it's really not very far into my PhD at all, but I already feel that it's eating away at my self-esteem and that I am much more emotional about things because of it. Is this normal? Do PhD students, in general, find that they're on a daily emotional rollercoater? Sometimes, but not very often, I think, 'hey, I really can do this.' Other times, most of the time, I think, 'I can't do this and shouldn't be here.' Just wondering if I'm alone because I feel a bit miserable at the moment.

Welcome to the rollercoster that is doing a PhD. My emotions have been all over the place and I always thought I was such a stable person!
I think the pressure comes from the fact that it's a personal project, with little peer support and you are putting yourself out there for exposure and criticism.
I am 2 years in. At the moment I feel okay. Extremely stressed but coping - just.
But before I started my PhD I was doing an extremely dull job where some days there would be nothing to do, so I just keep reminding myself of how soul destroying having nothing to do is. And then I feel grateful for where I am now.
It's natural. You'll have good and bad days/weeks/months.
But fingers crossed it will be worth it in the end!

Hey. I'm into my six month of PhD too. I was saying the same thing to a friend of mine who's also doing a PhD, that it's like an emotional roller coaster ride. There were days when I don't even want to go out and meet people because I was so stressed out with my study.
My friend said that I will learn to deal with it better as time progress, and it is true. I'm getting better and better at managing it.

Hey Charlie,
Nope, you're not alone! PhD is so intense in so many ways and dealing with the emotional side of things is one of the many skills PhD students learn along their rollercoasters.
It's a bit scary how quickly emotions can change too, the ups and downs can both be very rapid and unexpected.
Deadlines are very good for bringing out our biggest fears and insecurities - stick with it, you're not alone and you'll get through it.

Thank you everyone - it's really nice to know that this it's ok to feel like this. I guess it's about taking it one day at a time.

It might be the usual experience, but its NOT necessary, nor is it useful, and I think that the university systems should try to find a way to mitigate these feelings. I think they are brought on by the sheer isolation of the PhD study--and if any kind of meaningful interaction within your department or university can be provided, then it would no doubt help to cut down the isolation that leads to the feelings of despair, panic, and depression and demotivation. I personally am of the opinion that the majority of those feelings overwhelm people because of the isolated nature of the PhD.

Its one thing to feel them, its another thing altogether to have these feelings with such intensity that they interfere with the work on the PhD, with life, with general well-being. The PhD is a recipe for anxiety and depression, with its isolation as norm. It has only been when my isolation was highest that I felt these--for two thirds of my PhD I was balancing a busy work schedule plus the PhD study, and while it had intense pressures, they were never so debilitating as when I was ONLY doing PhD work but completely isolated in so doing.

In hindsight, I think it would be easier to manage a job of some sort plus PhD, then just the PhD alone, on the balance, because the PhD alone results ( or can) in very detrimental amounts of isolation that seems to be a problem the UK system is wholly unwilling to recognise.

I agree with you Olivia. My university doesn't have any sort of post-grad support network (that I'm aware of), and I think it's the endless hours on my own that is leading to this feeling. I am in the humanities so I'm either in the British Library - alone - or at home, again alone. It means that I'm constantly left with my own thoughts, self-doubts and worries. I don't think it's very healthy in terms of how it can lead to depression etc. I'm susceptible to feeling like this anyway (I've had a couple of bad episodes during my time at uni). As you say Olivia, it shouldn't be necessary.

Saying that, your words of support today - thanks all - have spurred me onto reach half way point of this particular piece of work!

Olivia is so wise, she would make an excellent counseller :) i really like what you say Olivia, you are so empathetic and kind hearted.

i agree with everything you said.

And I was completely unaware of counselling and welfare advisors at my university, until someone yesterday gave me the link!
i emailed the centre, briefly tell them about my panic attacks and the anxiety i am feeling. and they called me today, and arranged a counselling session AND a meeting with the welfare advisor for this thursday! wow! thats all i gotta say. i felt that i was being "silly" or melodramatic or a drama queen. but i feel so much better now that im going to have a counselling session. and can just be honest about the whole thing, without fear.

and then my graduate tutor also emailed me this morning, asking me if i was okay, and if there is anything he can do to help. wow i am so touched by qmul support. really blown away. they are really going out of their way to help me.

so i feel so much better now.

"and then my graduate tutor also emailed me this morning, asking me if i was okay, and if there is anything he can do to help".

..what's technically 'covering one's back' I would imagine.

Should read...

what's technically CALLED 'covering one's back' I would imagine.

i really regret, suffering in silence all those years and having no idea that other phd students feel the same way. and that there is a way to get help. and that its not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. and that i'm not some sort of weak unstable emotional person. but that im just going through a hard time.

i thought asking for help or telling people how i really felt or the truth of the situation, people would consider me a "wack" job and it would jeopardise my chances of passing my phd.

so instead I thought I have to just grin and bear it. grinning and just to keep my head down and just go along with it, feeling like a hostage at the same time, i thought these things were just to be endured and to just suffer in silence.

Charliechaplin, see if your university has such advisors.

i too spent alot of time in the british library in the reading rooms, i actually liked it there :)

i dont mind the isolation and working on my own. i am quite happy working away on my own... but what gets to me is the negativity from supervisors and the put downs.