Hi im in a big dilemma here. I hope you guys can give me an advise/opinion on this matter.
I am 5 months into a phd program in a biology field. The program is designed for 4 years. The beginning of my phd has been quite a struggle for some reasons. And i will state those briefly below.
Firstly, i am the only gender and racial minority in the lab. These has led me to be ostracized to some extent in lab as my lab members would form social circles and speak in languages i could not understand. Apart from not being able to colborate(doesnt hurt as much if my main focus is just to finish own project) but that would mean me generating less papers. Also generally the first gear is the formative years of a grad student. I find it hard to approach seniors for advise or to teach me certain lab techniques. It doesnt help that my lab do not practice mentorships,ie you have to take initiative to form bonds with people such that they are willing to impart knowledge to you. There is no assigned trainer on this. While my seniors did not have problem learning, i am faced with this barrier because of being isolated.
The social isolation doesnt only involve alienation but also microaggression as well. I did once ask for technical advise once but when i didnt get technique right on the first try, i was shouted at. This incident has affected my confidence greatly and often feel anxious being in the lab itself while doing my experiments.
My PI is very nice butbshe is very hands off. When i came in,i was told to read up and up with a research question which can be anything under the sun. I felt very aimless.
Is switching lab advisable at this point?
By "switching labs"; do you mean moving to another university or simply moving to another research group within your university? There's no guarantee another lab will "embrace" you fully. It may turn out to be worse, but you have to do a thorough check before making that move.
Five months is too short a period to cultivate a working relationship. Take an initiative to reach out to your colleagues. Target one or two who are seemingly friendly to you, say hi to them every morning. Talk about your interests, sports, movies, your culture, global politics, language etc. Whenever there are social events, such as the end of year dinner for the lab, don't hesitate to take part. If someone invites you for a cup of coffee, don't shy away. It may turn out that your colleagues view you as someone who is reclusive, shy and difficult to engage in a conversation with. You should also seek help from laboratory technicians and other support staff on certain techniques.
Personally, I don't really see strong evidence for gender or minority issues in your story and think you are taking the easy way out (at least a little bit).
Speaking in your native language if there is a chance to do so is relatively normal. If you do your PhD in Spain you can't really complain if they talk Spanish to each other even if the result is that you feel excluded. They are your colleagues, not your friends, and as long as they don't refuse to switch to English (usually the lab language) when talking directly to you I see no problem. There is no obligation to include you in their social circle, even though it would be nice if that happens.
Hands-off supervisors are also relatively normal. My bosses never showed me anything in the lab and I also have to take initiative if I want someone of the seniors to show me a technique. They won't come to you ;) Being yelled at when getting something not right at the first attempt is of course not nice, but these kind of people exist almost everywhere. That's something you have to cope with in every workplace so it's good to get used to it.
I would not recommend to switch labs but rather to develop a thicker skin, even though I know that this is an easy thing to say from an outsider's point of view. Switching labs will cost you valuable time and does not really guarantee you any improvement. Maybe your new colleagues would like you better and include you more, maybe they would not.
Hope it's getting better soon!
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