======= Date Modified 12 24 2009 21:24:28 =======
Hey. This is a bit long, but I'd be grateful nonetheless for any advice!!!

I was accepted onto a PhD back in May. I know this is a great opportunity and everything, but I really have an odd feeling about doing the PhD ever since being accepted. Now with the start date approaching quickly I am dreading my decision…

I mean the topic is great and it’s in an area related to my MSc thesis. However:

- I haven’t actually met my supervisor in person until now (I had a phone interview as I was overseas due to work) and even though we’ve spoken on the phone like twice post interview I am starting to doubt whether it’s such a good idea to do a PhD when you’ve never met your supervisor to be, even though my supervisor sounds like a nice person on the phone.

- I have doubts as to whether I really want to do a PhD. I mean I’ve wanted to do a PhD since my undergrad, but I don’t know whether the whole thing is a rushed decision. The only time I’ve really done research was whilst doing my undergrad and MSc thesis and whilst I enjoyed the research process very much I’ve only realised during my MSc from meeting other PhDers how demanding a PhD can be. I also always saw the PhD more as a back up plan, something to fall back on if my other career path doesn’t work out. Ever since being accepted I've literally had near to no motivation to do anything. I don't know whether this is due to me working f/t at the moment, but I've done so little reading and only produced one critical review cause my supervisor wanted me to do one.

- This may sound stupid but one of the biggest issues for me is that the PhD would require me to move to a new city again. I had my heart set on doing a PhD in London, but unfortunately, this didn’t work out. Starting the PhD would be like the 7th time I would start a “new life”. I grew up in London until I was six, but my parent’s job required me to move overseas. I subsequently went back to the UK to do my undergrad and moved back to London for my MSc. Some may think that I can move to London post PhD, but during my MSc I really enjoyed the feeling of being back home in a place I love to live. I am just so tired of starting a new life every few years. Thus, I just don’t know whether it be better to wait another year and try my luck with applying for PhD’s at London unis again. But then again who guarantees me that I am more lucky the second time around?

I know that I have to make the decision myself but I’d be really thankful for any words of wisdom.

hello!

It does sound as though you have some fairly significant doubts so it would make sense to break them down. First (and this is not to imply that PhDs are 'an escape') but are you happy in what you are currently doing? I mean by that, if you take time out to "try" a PhD would it be devastating for your current career, and would you be bothered?
Next up, could you meet your supervisor before you make the huge move? In an academic environment and speaking to people in your field you might be more motivated to the project.
Lastly, you mention setting/uprooting as though it is important for you - whether you take this PhD or if you manage to get one at a London University in future, it is more common than not to have to uproot every few years if you plan to go on to do an academic career. Why do you want to do a PhD - for the career, the research or something else. Knowing that it might help!

Hey!

It sounds as if you have some really tough decisions to make! I think that you should not go into a PHD hearted as is will really test you over the the years and sometimes you really feel like quitting! It is hard to make a choice on superviosrs wether meeting them in person or not as sometimes the most personable person may be a nightmare to work with or someone who gives you bad vibes initially may turn out to be the ideal boss! I think that this is just the luck of the draw and there is no way to guarantee if you will have a good relationship with your supervisor or not.

It is additionally difficult for you as you say you would prefer to stay in London after all your moves to different locations. That is completly understandable and I am sure any potential supervisor would understand that. You could perhaps try and delay your PhD position for a few months to give you some time to think about things. Alternatively, alot of research institutes in London advertise tech or RA jobs so perhaps if you applied for these this will be able to determine if you like research or not and will give you a foot in the door with potential supervisors.

Best of luck!

Hi Ceruse

It sounds to me like you've answered your own questions - in your post you don't give any reason for wanting to do a PhD apart from seeing it as "a back up plan". I'm afraid that won't be enough to sustain you for long, let alone many years!! You've listed all the reasons why you don't want to do one, and only a half-hearted reason for doing it. It sounds like you're not ready yet. You need to really, really, want to do a PhD to get one done. You need to be driven, almost possessed. It sounds like you're aware of the work and sacrifices involved, and not willing to undertake these. I'd talk to your potential supervisor about this, and maybe consider doing a PhD sometime in the future, and you could try again with a London uni, as you mention. Good luck!