Hi everybody,

I need your opinion.
After I graduated, I worked as a researcher, looking for the "perfect PhD" in the meantime. I finally found it, I was accepted and I'm supposed to start soon. This implies moving to a country I don't like and leaving all my family, friends and boyfriend behind.
I am enthusiastic about the project, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. I mean, should I put my life on standby and move to a place I don't like? What if the PhD won’t fulfil my expectations? Will I be able to get my life back afterwards?
I've waited for so long for this opportunity and now I worry it's not the right thing. Am I crazy? Maybe I've waited too long and my goals have changed but I don't want to accept it because everybody's expecting me to follow this path (PhD, a research career etc.), including myself.
I'm not scared of starting all over again, I've done this before.
But is it normal to worry so much, to be so undecided?

Have you been in a similar situation?

Thanks a lot,

Coral

How can you know the country is pants...you haven't lived there! Don't jump to conclusions so quickly. Yes you are doing something mind-bogglingly HUGE that if you weren't nervous, I'd be convinced you didn't have a pulse. But you want this. You've waited and looked for this. It's possible you and your boyf will go separate ways, that's life. You have to live your life, not anyone else's. Would you regret it if you didn't do this or worse, spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?"

coral,
i was in a similar situation, and decided to do it. sometimes it was wonderful and sometimes terrible. right now, my partner followed me to the new country and got a good job here, so after 16 months we are now living together again; distance relationships can work.
i'd say if your boyfriend supports you, then do it. if he doesn't, then it is up to you to decide on priorities.
as a PhD student you will be so busy that it won't matter much which country you live in

You're right, Hypothesis, I have some preconceived ideas about the country I'm supposed to move to, and it’s not fair, maybe it won’t be bad at all. Thanks, I needed a reply like this. I freaked out today because I just let my boss know I’m quitting my job (a good, comfortable job) soon and he didn’t take it very well, even though he knew I got the PhD position.
And thanks Shani, your reply was also helpful, I’ll try to be more optimistic. Good luck with your PhD and congrats to your boyfriend

you must be all excited now! keep us informed how thinks work out, if you would? (i'm just over-curious and nosy )