I need advice because I can't talk to anyone in my department and noone outside wk understands what it's like in PhD world. -You can't just quit.

I started my PhD last year because I didn't know what career to go into and thought, what with the recession, getting another qualification in the meantime was a good idea. Also I had been in the most unstimulating job previously and wanted something more stimulating. I didn't realise at the time that I was going into it for completely the wrong reasons. Within a week of starting I realised I had made a mistake, that I hated lab work, found the reading quite hard, the project boring and generally felt completely out of my depth. I think I had gone from one extreme too far to the other.

Despite clearly being too dumb to do a PhD, I plodded on because I didn't want to let people down, waste the people's time who had trained me and the department's money. Plus my supervisor is quite nice and my department is lovely. Also, I hate giving up.

My problem is that I have everything most people dream of as a student only I don't want it. I feel so ungrateful, but it's just not for me. Part of me wishes that my supervisor was horrible or the work environment was unbearable just so I'd have a reason to leave. I just hate the thought of another 2 years when I already know I'm not going to go into science. But having done a whole year, if I quit I would have wasted yet another year of my life. Plus it is so looked down apon.

Finally despite my supervisor being nice, I only had an informal interview for the studentship and I think he regrets it. I clearly can't keep up. He discusses research plans with a post doc, who quite often takes over my project, leading me to wonder why on earth I'm there in the first place.

I just feel quite unhappy even though everything around me is right. I should have just gone with my instinct and quit after the first few weeks. Instead now I am trapped and have made a bigger problem for myself.

Help! Has anyone else also felt this way?

It's never too late to quit. As someone who has quit one PhD (though for other reasons, due to developing a serious neurological illness) in the past I think the easy thing is often to keep going. The hard decision can be to quit. But it can be the right decision.

You mustn't feel bad about letting your supervisor and department down. You need to do what's right for you. If you quit after a year it's not too hard to explain that away on CVs as well. So that's worth thinking about.

What would you like to do instead? Would thinking about that help clarify the options. Also drawing up a list of pros and cons can help as well.

But don't stay because of guilt.

Good luck.

Hi Sarah, sorry to hear about your situation.  I'm not sure how your uni operates but some unis register you for an MPhil initially and then upgrade you to a PhD after you pass your 1st/2nd year review despite offering you a PhD studentship. It benefits the student and uni as if you decide that you don't like it you can stop and still get an MPhil providing that you have done enough to pass the viva for it and the uni doesn't lose out by "losing" a PhD student.  Just wondering if this is an option at your place?

Another suggestion is that if you are absolutely sure that you don't want to carry on, ask if you can turn your project into an MPhil so you still get recognition for what you've done and don't need to do more research. I'm sure your supervisor will understand that is best for you. 

Just another thought - have you tried taking a break or a change of scenery as the 2nd year blues are quite common as you get bogged down in your project which often seems hopeless and never ending esp doing all the labwork which can be quite tedious if you are not in the right frame of mind.  Maybe a break will help refocus and regain your enthusiasm. I know during my labwork stage I often felt out of my depth and didn't know where the project was going so I just ploughed on with the lab work hoping for the best.  It all began to come together as I got all the data and started analysing it which I was very relieved about as that was a major worry!

I have a friend who was determined to leave academia as soon as she finished as she didn't enjoy her time in the lab /dept esp as she was contracted to teach part time so she left and got a job in industry. After a while she decided that it wasn't for her and has got a job in academia again so you never know. 

Hope this helps and good luck with your decision.

Bilbo is right, a year on the CV is easy to explain away - the general 'researcher' role is quite useful here. You could also consider doing an MPhil and write up what you have already - thereby getting a qualification.

I would also have a long think about whether you do want to quit. Many people feel overwhelmed in the first year and feel inadequate, I know I did. And don't compare your understanding to a post doc's.

You are not too dumb to do a PhD, otherwise, even after an informal interview, your sup would have known it. Seems like you may have a bout of imposter syndrome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Thank you for your reply, it was really sweet. I don't have any other ideas, jsut not research or industry. I do look at career options but nothing sticks out. I've realised I'll never be one of those people who knows what they want to be. But I think if I just had any job that someone with a degree could do that would be fine. Just not something like stuffing envelopes which I used to do urgh.

I am scared of approaching anyone about it though. I have a tendency to be smiley noone would see it coming... Plus I am awful at confrontation. I need to get some guts.

Also I have just started a new project which I know my supervisor wants to get a publication for asap. If I quit that might slow the process down. But then tbh I probably wouldn't help too much anyway.

Thank you as well Sneaks and Doodles. Wow I love this forum. I will consider all your points. I have my one year meeting coming up, maybe I should just be honest with my supervisor then?

I think you need to sit down and work out why you don't want to do the PhD. Separeate being 'dumb' from other reasons such as being uninterested in the project (?) etc. Then you can go to your supervisor with your concerns. If it is just that you feel your not up to the task, then that is perfectly normal (I still feel like that and I'm starting my 4th year).

Yes OMG this is exactly what i feel like, i started it for the same reasons as you (didn’t know what i wanted to do, recession etc.). It wasn’t long before i discovered i hated it but i kept going because i thought i would just get into it after a while, but with none of my lab work working out and a post doc that thinks im a waste of space i just can’t take it anymore and the thoughts of another three years here makes me feel physically sick!

I work in a lab with nice people but they are so competitive and work 12-15 hour days to get results, i really didn’t know what i was getting myself in for when i took this on and i feel like if im going to leave i should do it now before i get even further into it and it becomes harder to leave. i have my one year review coming up and writing up what i’ve done for the past make me even more sure that i have no interest in this project and to be honest that im not very good at it either.

I do feel really guilty though because i feel like i have been given a great opportunity here but i just don’t think a phd is for me and feel like someone else could come in in my place and really enjoy it. Also i don’t want to disappoint my family who are very proud of me for getting into a phd program. I have been to see the careers advisor in my uni and she suggest taking leave of absence to think it over but i honestly feel that if i do that i wouldn’t come back. And i do worry about what my job prospects would be being a ‘phd dropout’ !

Sorry for long rant but i feel like we are in the same situation! Have you decided what you are going to do?