Hola, my lovelies! I am back - but this time with a smile on my choppers. So to keep myself out of trouble I decided (I realise rather mentally now) to undertake an extra MSc - to refocus my area of specialisation - good grass roots and all that - whilst I am teaching. Anyway, enough context. I am going to admit something - so here was the task - write a 1,000 word essay. Shouldn't be too difficult I thought....well six weeks on (and 36 hours before deadline) I have 12,000 on paper!! - crikey-bob-ski what am I going to do!!! I have seriously considered (a) burning it, (b) running away, (c) giving up, (e) scrapping it and writing about what I actually know - it must be all that PhD writing still in me - any thoughts out there on my madness......please!

And whilst I am here I would also like to get something off my worried little pea-sized mind....basically, I am terrified of embarrassing myself in front of other Masters students. I feel this huge amount of expectation to be the best. I am terrified of being judged. I think I spent so long on my PhD working alone, that now I am working as part of a group and being measured against them - I am scared of being found to be actually rather terrible. I guess this is a crisis of confidence.

Honestly?

1. Why not just stop and enjoy life for a bit? You've had a lot of upheaval in your life recently, you're still relatively new to your job, your location, and you've only just finished your PhD. So is it really necessary to do an MSc *now*?

2. The other students will only judge you if you give them reason to. Most Masters seem to have a mixture of people of different ages and different previous experiences - this can be enriching rather than a source of competition. I'm sure they have plenty of their own concerns to focus on.

3. If you manage to go over a word count 12-fold, you need to seriously stop and consider your approach to writing. Did alarm bells not ring at any point? As I'm sure you're aware, writing to the specification is very important and it's rare that you'll ever get to cover anything as extensively as in your thesis. Step back and breathe.

Regarding what to do with the essay it might just be easier to scrap it and start again. To be honest, 1,000 words is barely an essay - I don't think I was ever given a word count that low even at undergrad level (and they gave you six weeks to do it?!). So just look again at the question, jot down 3-4 subheadings and write 2-300 words under each. Job done. Shouldn't be hard to knock out in 3 days if you had enough material for 12 essays.

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Launching into a Masters straight after a PhD?

Hmm, I guess you know what you want to do but I wouldn't personally be doing this. A Masters is a year intensive (or a couple of years if part-time) and admittely be over quickly, however, the high level intensity involved I would not want to launch into straight away. I came back to do PhD a few years after Masters and I'm glad of that as I was mentally tired out after the Masters.

I understand your reasons, however, your brain needs a rest after the PhD. If you want to do this, I'd wait a year and and do the Masters then. The fact you've gone way over the word limit on a 1,000 word essay shows shows you're still in the wired state you were during write-up. If you rested properly first, you probably wouldn't be doing this as you're perception of the work needed is still probably geared at PhD level.

My (de)mentor on my second (disasterous) post-doc (story elsewhere) had launched straight into post-doc work without a real breather or slowdown time. Dealing with someone who had remained in the highly wired state you end up in especially during the latter stages of a PhD for the five years since she finished was interesting to say the least.

I have noted as regards recovery that women seem to recover better than men. Men tend to look for a couple of 'quiet' years once they finish whilst women seem to get going in seemingly half the time. Perhaps this should be a subject of a PhD proposal!!! :-)

As regards how you perform against other Masters students, a taught course is a different ballgame and some will perform better during at least the taught part of the course - that's life!!! The chances are you'll perform better than most during the project part though, as the PhD will have given you skills to manage the project better.

But you'd probably perform better with a break from high intensity work first!!!

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

I would have to say that I agree with Hazyjane and Ian 100%!

However if you are set on pursuing the MSc then you have adjust your mindset. Writing a 1000 word essay is challenging but that is part of the challenge. I have graded many [admittedly undergrad] essays etc that have had different word counts, everything from 250 words (very tough to do) to 5000 word projects and I have always been tough on those who essentially ignore the word count. I think your 12,000 plus are too much even to edit and so I agree with Jane when she says tear it up and start again!

Other than that, hope you are enjoying your new life ;-)

Hey, thanks for advice...to be honest my reasons for starting an MSc alongside teaching have been from the heart rather than from the head - no surprises there. I think I couldn't bare to alone with my thoughts - so I threw myself into anything and everything .... from university politics....to MSc participation...baby groups...community groups. There is basically not an ounce of time left for me which is not consumed by either Bea or work. Even when I do the ironing - it is a major treat - because then I can watch a movie at the same time. Seriously I need to get a grip of myself.

So back to the Masters - I'm in now - I'm a paid up member of the constitution as they say, and I am learning loads. For the first time in a while I have been, and indeed am, engrossed in the joy of learning - knowing that at the end of this I am going to do something great with my new knowledge.

Yes, of course I should have taken a break - I should have asked your thoughts earlier - but I was afraid you might conclude - rest - slow down - relax for a while. Now I am in - and I guess I need to see it as enjoyable learning - not a lesson in academia. It doesn't really matter what mark I get - I just need to pass and learn what I wish along the way.

I scrapped my 12,000 ramblings - actually it was quite nice - I compared a variety of theories - made a couple of conceptual models and a substantial contribution to new knowledge!! haha - I need the looney bin. So what have I done about this pickle (which I will learn from) - scrapped one of the two core theories, took out primary data (I had even consulted with world experts in New York and Paris!!) (see what happens when I am left to my own devices!) - and reduced it to a reasonably simplistic form.

I have never heard of a 1000 essay being given out either - its very tricky - more like an abstract! still I will learn - and its good for me to be able to do both - short concise work and on the other hand in-depth analysis.

I am going to work really hard on polishing it up tonight and then hand it and have a rest. I might even push the boat out and do some ironing and watch a movie! Oh dear what have I become - I need saving from myself.

Signed - Heidi the general lunatic.

I'd echo the others' advice, but you're in now, so need to move forward with the course. I would recommend that you take advantage of the university counselling services though. It's sounds as though you're still in a difficult place head-wise, and you could benefit greatly from an informal chat or two with the counsellor.

After my PhD I took a number of undergraduate courses with the Open University, the latest one last year, an honours level Art history course. I found it quite a frustrating experience after the PhD, having to write to a plan, and not expand, though I didn't have quite your word count issues: I wasn't a natural at art history, so writing enough was my problem! Anyway I did vastly better as the course went on and I got to grips with it, and best of all in the project/dissertation at the end, where I got to define my own topic and explore it more in the style in which I'd tackled my PhD.

Best of luck!

You could put the 12k words on one side for a couple of journal articles - you could draft them during a load of washing ;-)

Ah.....well the proof will be in the pudding as they say. I am currently at 1,221 words! Finished almost - just going to take it down to a nice 1,100. 10% over the word limit only. Just a bit of polishing and lets just forget all about it. In truth its not really about these hoops we are given to jump through - its the process of getting through those hoops - at the moment I am in a slightly new area - and panicking about not knowing it all - so desperately seeking to understand everything all at once.

The thought of a journal article has crossed my cheeky mind....so yep - good thinking save in a folder for a rainy day.

On the plus side - and this is HUGE - I have just been given my DRIVING LICENSE back.....oh yes peoples! I had a slight accident and broke my head a little while back - anyway it stopped me driving for six years!! So I have taken a few lessons to get a little confidence - now I am in search of a beautiful navy morris minor and over the hills we shall go!

As usual thank you for the advice - and ref to counselling. Well as I'm honest here....I made an appointment and then.....became a complete coward and cancelled. I suddenly became worried that if I said all that was bothering me in my mind - I might fall to pieces - and I can't do that for Bea or me - so I was hoping I might take a little longer - adjust and then go. I'm a big fan of the old chatting things out though :-)

Sleep well in the snow