hey guys,

I was wondering...AM I THE ONLY PHD STUDENT WHO'S HAVING A HARD TIME TRYING TO HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE PHD?

I'm asking because, two days ago (saturday), I decided I HAVE to try to get away from the lab(I'm a science phd student). so I went to a gig. I had only one mojito, and I was already tipsy...I only went home at 3am(which by the way is not late at all compared to when I was an undergrad), but since I had to work the next morning, I only had 3 hours of sleep(again...I used to do this all the time and nothing happened...I just cruised through the day....but YESTERDAY)...I was sooooo exhausted, and on top of that since I'm tutoring on monday and meeting my PI, I had to finish an experiment, so I WAS A ZOMBIE THE WHOLE OF SUNDAY! coffee makes me nauseous so that didnt help at all!

I really want to know how you guys cope. tell me how you have other activities and still stay on top of your game...let the thread grow...

Hi There, well, i often wondered the same thing. But now that you mention it i think most of us if not all are in the same boat. Life?! what life lol... i used to stay in the labs till late hours, i'm writing now which is proving to be just the same (no life!!). We will just have to make up for it once we finish :p

I think that's not just because of PhD, but getting older :-( my hubs is a lot more exhausted than me from his 9-5 job, AND I work all weekend and into the evening, whereas he becomes KRATOS - a greek demi god who is determined to kill zeuss and all the titans (its a ps3 game that's taken over his life).

Hi Nalie

Doing a PhD is hard, no doubt about it. There's a huge, absolutely enormous leap between being an undergrad and a PhD student. I'm not in science, but for me, doing social sciences, the subject matter became so much harder. A PhD also requires sustained concentration, for long periods of time, and it's not just writing essays - it's emotionally draining too, working on such a big piece of work. That could be making you tired - but you also need more than 3 hours sleep. All the expert advice says to take care of yourself when doing a PhD - sleep enough, eat well, exercise and also take time off. You need stamina. Of course it's possible to have a life while doing a PhD (well, except for the writing up stage!), but you need to pace yourself.

I don't know if I cope - or lurch from one crisis to another! Well maybe not quite like that. Easter hols were supposed to be time for writing up a chapter, but now the weather has turned nice I want to get out into the garden, I had an emergency committee meeting last week - I'm chair of the committee, so had to go. I've promised to do a couple of presentations. i need to sort out the whole of one year's practical curriculum for next week...and when I go back I will be one full time staff member down as she has taken another job, and I have plan some training for the admin person who I want to be the replacement for the person who left, to come into the lab -that might sound quite bizarre, but she is very practical minded, willing to learn, and unlike the person she is replacing sets things out nicely as I like it, doesn't do things she doesn't know anything about without asking, will do what I say, not what she thinks, and is eager to learn. the drawback is that up until half term she is only getting one hour per day, but if she is OK that will become full time after that, but for the next 6 weeks we will struggle so thesis will take a bit of a back seat, so I need to crack on now and hope to get the chapter finished today in semi rough form, so I can give it a day or so to mature and then get it up to scratch to send off. hopefully that will give me a week or so whilst they read it to do other things before getting back to that again. Its a bit of a treadmill really, but worth it in the end - I hope! I regard the other things as 'thinking time' :$

Hi Nalie,

I do agree with Sneaks that it is due to getting older! I went out into town on student night with my other half (he now works full-time but did his undergrad with me), and he couldn't stop laughing at how I grimaced at the loud music! And I found it funny that he was tutting at all the really drunk undergrads! But I'm exactly the same, the day after I was absolutely knackered and couldn't even dream about doing any of my MA work. So my nights out are very few and far between.

BUT, I'm starting my PhD in October and am absolutely determined that I will have a life outside of it. Obviously doing a PhD is very important, and I'm 100% committed, but I just really don't want it to take over my life. I'm actually so set on ensuring that it doesn't become my whole life that I'm getting married in the first year of my PhD. I want to marry my other half and don't want doing a PhD to get in the way of that!

I find that I try and work 9-5ish (I have never been a night owl) and then when my other half comes home we have tea, then we'll stick a dvd on or something and then I'll sit with his laptop on my knee sorting wedding stuff! You can have a life!

Button - sounds like my schedule altho hubs leaves for work at 6am so tend to work from about 8am - 6pm (around multiple dog walks). And then watch trashy tv (hopefully NOT football!) for the rest of the evening. Occasionally I do work in the evening, but hubs turns into a whiny puppy and demands I come and sit with him - Men!

A life outside of a PhD is definitely doable. Especially if like me, you reckon you can do the same about of work in 1hr that others take 4 hrs to do! If your uni has push email though - that is a killer!

i see it isn't only me who watches the rubbish TV then. When I'm working in the evening, more likely now the light is better at night - I find energy saving bulbs toooo dull to make bookwork easy, expecially the old books, which seem to have smaller print, and dodgy printing. I sometimes put a folder of 'need to do' reading on the table by the chair, but inevitably it doesn't get opened - the thought is there though :-)

I've only just started in the grand scheme of the 3 years (3 months in) and I've found I do get a lot more tired doing this than I did working 40+hours in the public service sector. It's true that you need to look after yourself and MAKE time to do things you want to do. You can't work all the time, you'll just burn out and lose all your enthusiasm for what you're doing. Remember quality also counts over quantity - if I find my mind wandering (like today, for example!) I'll go and do something else for a bit and have a break until I feel ready to sit down and concentrate again.

I know it's boring but exercise is also crucial - I've found that being mentally tired is sometimes not enough to guarantee a good night's sleep so I'm very grateful I kept my corporate gym membership and can go for a run or a swim/jacuzzi.

It's ok to have a break sometimes! Plus what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for you - when I first started I was constantly comparing myself to another phd student who started at the same time - and doing my head in - til I realised we're all going to develop and work at different paces and you can't really compare yourself to anyone else!

hi Linadlou,

I know what you mean about really taking care of yourself and sleeping. I eat fairly well(whith the occassional binge and watching trash tv---what is up with the trash tv? is it because your mind does minimal thinking that we love it for a change?!!?), anyways, I'm also a runner, so exercise is not an issu, but I'm starting to see the effects of lack of sleep on me. last night I run the ussual 7km(once i start i just keep going even though I know I have a long day the next day! must be the endorphins), but I had student marking to do because I had to run a class and go to the lab by 7am the next day(today), I can bearly walk, everything seems to be taking me more concentration than normal. and the meetings are piling up!

i love that some of you guys are actually able to have personal relationships on the side!how on earth are you managing....spa would be nice, just about now...

meeting time!

Hi nalie
I think it's entirely possible to have personal relationships and do things during a phd and if you don;t you are just going to cause yourself damage in the long run. Everyones situation is different, and if you are working and self funding your phd then obviously you'll have less time for outside activities, but it is still important to make some down-time. Most people I know work off the basis of 9-5 hours minimum, which seems to steadily increase from first year. There will be times approaching deadlines or due to studies/experiments where you have to pull in long hours and there isn't really much time for anything else but that shouldn't be the way for the duration of the project. Personally, since starting final year, I make it a priority to have about an hour every evening for non-work stuff, like reading a novel, watching tv or chatting to friends etc. I try to have one day off a week where I'm off doing something that's taking me away from work and makes me think in a different way. I think it's important to do this as it keeps your mind fresh and stops you getting bogged down in work. I have to have at least 8 hours sleep a night, and even though I could do the partying etc as an undergrad, I have no hope of that now! instead I save my nights out for when I'm off the next day.
When I was in first and second year however I had much more time spare, which I filled with volunteering and outside activities which have all helped my CV and I have made some fantastic friendships which I would be lost without now. While working on your phd is important, it's equally important to take care of yourself or you'll never finish.

I can understand that it's very easy to let your PhD take over your life: we don't have formal office hours, we are in a sense our own boss, there's always the possibility to read more etc. But I'd say it's v important to have a life outside your PhD too. Work-life balance (buzz word!) is surely important to your physical and mental health. But your future employer(s) (academics or not) would like to see that you can manage multiple projects/priorities. So try to build up other experience if you haven't yet, things like getting on committee on societies (e.g. sports or other fun things), volunteering etc would help you develop skills that your PhD probably can't give you. Also, as the others have said, you don't wanna burn out. Doing a PhD is a marathon, not a sprint! I'm in my final months of my PhD so unfortunately I now work in the evenings and sometimes in the weekends also. However in the past years I rarely worked in the weekend and my weekday evenings were mostly spent socializing/relaxing. I was also on the committee of a society, which I've been told is a very good thing for my CV because employers (especially non-academics) tend to think PhDs don't have good team-working skill, but having been on a committee of some sort shows that you can work in a team.

Good luck with your PhD!

======= Date Modified 13 Apr 2010 21:42:34 =======
Sorry - double post!

Trying to get a WHAT while doing PhD? :p