Hi, I'm a current PhD student in mathematics, just starting my third year, but I previously did my undergraduate in physics (U.K. MSci), and I now realise that my course contained relatively little mathematics which was taught mainly in 'methods' form. When I first arrived I was overwhelmed by how much I didn't know, and tried in a very panicked way to catch up. I felt myself becoming more and more stressed and insane, and feel that I haven't been studying well for the last two years now. On top of this my topic is relatively new and interdisciplinary using many areas of mathematics. I knew that I was making a difficult choice when I changed subjects, but things have been extremely hard.

Anxiety is definitely a common affliction in PhD life and many of the feelings I have I'm sure are very common, and learning to deal with them is certainly part of the process of doing a PhD. I've had some extremely low periods in the last two years that have left me feeling really depressed, and I generally don't feel well on a daily basis. I have realised that I always was an anxious and stressed person, and that this is a problem that I have to deal with in life in general, and I do feel that I have made some progress with this problem. My main anxiety is simply that I don't have sufficient background to be doing a PhD in mathematics. I don't feel that I can talk to my peers on the same level which leaves me feeling isolated. Part of my reason for switching to mathematics was that I always had unanswered mathematical questions during my degree, and wanted the chance to learn them, but I have not had time to pursue these interests. Whilst I feel better than when I started, and I don't feel that I haven't learned anything in two years, I still feel the same anxieties.

Most importantly I am sure that I want to continue in academia, although at the moment I don't have the enthusiasm that I used to. I have been considering for a while to go back a step and take a masters. I would then have time before starting to catch up on some basics, and then I think studying the other things I want to learn would go better in a more structured learning environment. On the one hand maybe I'm being overly sensitive and this is mainly an emotional problem, these are normal things for a phd student (wanting more structure, worried about your progress etc) and I just need to get past this fear (I have spoken with my supervisor, who is very understanding, and this is more or less his view (but then in the end of course it is my decision)) and maybe things will get better. I have the opportunity to keep learning, no one is really prepared for a PhD, and maybe I just need to do more background reading than most. However, on the other hand, I also think that you should learn to walk before learning to run, and I feel like I'm stumbling around all over the place! Any advice??

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Hi Matt, I wonder how many 'thinkers' suffer from stress and anxiety issues? I think it must be really common judging by this forum and it seems the PhD process enhances that. However, will 'not doing' the PhD stop the stress and anxiety issues? Or will it just stop the ones that are related to the PhD?

I just don't know that going back to doing a Masters would be the right thing to do though...it might make you feel temporarily a little better because the structure is there but some part of the doctoral process has to be that awful going it alone bit, where you create new knowledge and become (at the end) an independent researcher.

I think we all get worried that we don't have the right background for our topics-because there is just so much to know about a discipline, subject or area and we sensibly understand and acknowledge the huge amount that we do not know...

People always tell me that in public (in person or making presentations) that I seem really confident and that it seems easy for me BUT it isn't. I have my big doubts (like everyone) it is just I cover them up a bit more effectively than others and finally Ive done so many stupid things in my life, I'm as used to failing at things as well as succeeding and so after some heart ache I just get over it. But I do suffer from more anxiety than most and I think that this must be a common issue for many 'postgrad research' people.

So what I am trying to say is that what you are going through, you are not going through alone. It seems to be a common part of the process (at least judging by forum items) and it seems to be tied up with the process as well- a part of the doctorate that you just have to go through.

You will have learned things over these last two years, absolutely, but it doesn't seem until much later that you realise this. I am only starting my doctorate so am in 'honeymoon stage' but during the last few months of my Master's thesis, I thought part of me was going insane... and I imagine I will get back there when I do the final doctoral write up in about three or four years (I'm a part-timer).

I think that if your supervisor is confident that you can do this, then believe them-they sound really understanding but academics don't usually beat about the bush-you've got this opportunity because the university and its teachers believe you deserve it. Hope that lots of people can provide more reassuring advice-best of luck and don't feel as if you are alone...gtg my puppy Charlie is destroying my screen door!:-)and I need to let him back inside.

Hi Matts,

I am doing a multidisciplinary PhD, and because it is impossible that I am an expert in 3 different areas, I keep reminding myself that I have THIS background, therefore I examine the topic from THAT perspective. I only go as deep to the other disciplines as I need to justify my decisions. I will pick my examiners from a similar background as me, so I will be definitely knowing more than them on the other areas. I already know more than my supervisor, in most of our conversations when it gets specific he cannot follow.
Just make sure you have a clear goal, and you know enough to justify it.

For me, research is a life-lasting process, and the PhD is only a small step. Acknowledge the fact that it is impossible to know everything, and make sure you know what you need to know. Focus, don't divert too much. And keep going, don't panick.

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