Dear Fellow PhDers

I am writing up, on track to submit in September. I had always held before me the somewhat 'vague' goal of being an academic at the end of this process. But I've always known I'm not really cut out for teaching - I quite like small group and one to one stuff, but would be useless as a lecturer - and it's really not what I want do to. So I have had to come to the depressing conclusion that my dream of being an 'academic' is an unrealistic one ... I am in the humanities... I know research fellowships exist but they seem to be rarer than hen's teeth. And a recently advertised one in my discipline , paying less than my AHRC stipend, wanted you to teach 6 hours a week and be a specialist in two different fields too ...

I am not sure how any of you can help, but thought I'd ask the collective wisdom for ideas in case I am missing something. I LOVE research, I love writing, and think I am quite good at it. Disadvantages are - I'm 47, and will need a decently paid job within next few years when husband retires and our children are still young. Has anyone had success moving into writing for the non academic market? Does anyone know of a good source of research fellowships that I don't know of?

Grateful for any suggestions.
Jane

Hi Jane, I probably can't help you as much as some of the other members of this forum but I'm similar to you in that I don't particularly want to teach either, I can do one on one and small groups like you but I feel very uncomfortable giving lectures. Is it a dislike of giving lectures or are you worried you're not skilled enough? If it's the latter then why not see if you can gain some further training whilst you're still at uni? From reading your post it does seem like you want to be an academic really so don't give up if it's something that can be fixed with further experience.

Have you looked at some of the commercial/public sector options for research? I want to do something meaningful with myself when I'm finished so I'm looking to join either the private or public sector as a researcher/data analyst.

p.s. that's not to say that being an academic isn't meaningful :$

Hi Lindalou! thanks for your thoughts - I was assured by a senior academic in my own department recently that he too hated the thought of lecturing and would take hours to prepare, but that this had got massively easier as he has gone on ... But I know deep down teaching isn't for me: whenever I've acted as postgrad tutor, I've been really stressed beforehand, worried for hours, got grumpy with the family, and have always been glad when it's over. And in previous lives I've dabbled with school teaching too - something about the flexibility of teaching keeps drawing me in, and each time I re-discover how much I really hate it... I think I could get better at it with practice, I agree, and that's a good point - but I also think life might be too short to force myself into something I would dread!

I agree there are other options out there for using/doing research, and I wish you luck with your quest post phd. (And don't worry, I didn't think you meant academia was meaningless! :-) )

You might want to have a look at http://versatilephd.com/ - it might help generate some ideas. Given the new fees I think teaching is going to be more and more important, so if it doesn't appeal then I think you're probably making the best chioce for you. There is no point doing a job that makes you miserable. For fellowships, you're probably looking at Leverhulme as the best source - they're hideously competitive but someone has to get one.

I hadn't seen that site, Bewildered, so thank you very much indeed for the suggestion - and for reminding about the Leverhulme!

Thanks for posting this thread PhDJane, I've found it useful too (up)

You're welcome Lindalou - I've just spent a goodly time browsing in the fascinating world that is the Versatile PhD site and feeling hugely cheered that I am not alone in wondering 'what I will be when I grow up'!
:-)