Guys, how much do you get involved with your fellow PhDs? I have come to notice that very close friendships have formed between other people in my department. There is even a couple in my research methods class now. There are about 14 of us, and some people seem to be really close, they arrange all these social nights and extra-curric. activities and things. I don't know how, but I have managed to completely isolate myself from them all. They even went on a weekend away together with some staff members. I feel like the black sheep of the family. ALSO, I sometimes notice them all 'bantering' with the staff, who, half the time, probably just assume that I'm an undergraduate who has stumbled into the wrong room.

I'm part-time, and not based on campus, so basically I've very little to do with the other students! This isn't of my choosing. A few years ago when I was stronger health-wise I used to make it in to research seminars, and was on chatting terms with a lot of the then PhD-ers. But they've moved on now (I'm part-time so have been a PhD student for a *long* time!), and I don't know the current batch. We have an electronic bulletin board system, but virtually no-one uses it.

Hi Maria, I am a part-time distance student too. I am on chatting terms with some of the PhDers in my department, and have swapped numers etc with another distance learner in the department, but I don't have friends there, as such.

I've recently made promise to myself to go to all the department events, no matter what, just so I feel more involved.

I wouldn't worry about not having friends in the department, you're not there to make friends; unless you are short on friends generally, in which case you could find some non - academic activities to get involved with.

Also, was the weekend away a research trip? Or someting social? If it were research then that's just business, and your not going reflects nothing of your status in the department. If it were social, I find that a bit off anyhow - I'm very wary of staff getting too pally with students, at least while they are still students anyhow. I don't think it's professional.

Hey! We seem to have formed a little clique on our corridor- there are three of us with the same supervisor who are very close and go out a lot, and we are often joined by a few other PhDers on the same corridor as us but with a different supervisor, and sometimes one or two others who have different supervisors but who we know through being on the same MSc a couple of years ago or the same teaching team last year or something. So we are quite sociable really, but it does tend to be a whole 'proximity' thing going on with us, in that those of us based in nearby offices tend to go out together. Sometimes I go to the PhD colloqiuums and so on, and that's fine for meeting other PhD students too, but all too often it's at a rubbish time and I'm out testing or whatever. I feel very lucky in having really close friends here, but I can imagine that if I happened to be on a different corridor with no PhD-ers on it then I would be a bit lonely. Although we are all on good terms with our supervisors and the staff etc, we don't tend to see them socially unless it's just for a bit of lunch or something now and again. I know a lot of folk in another block in our department who I don't see so much but who all do stuff together too, so I think it's a lot to do with who you're seeing and mixing with during the day. KB

Hi Maria

I'm also a distance student so don't socilaise with other PhDers. Some in my course are also older students (like me), they have other commitments, families etc and so a lot of them don't socialise either. I too, am also a bit of a loner. Oh well - as Eska says, we their to learn, not make friends. The downside to not being around a lot on campus is that other students have a higher visibility, they tend to get asked to do lecturing, research work etc, even tho I could do this just as well as they can. This is more worrying than socialising. So, if you can, try and push yourself forward a bit so you get these opportunities too. Don't worry about making friends, but try and make sure that those who count know who you are.

I'm a full time PhDer but I don't socialise that much. I'm a little bit older, and live an hour away so tend to only be on campus maybe two or three days a week. Our seating area is huge - maybe 60 or so student desks plus post-docs and admin people in a large open-plan office, with students on a hot-desking system so you don't always sit in the same place (though we all tend to sit at the same small cluster of tables even if not at the same desk every day). There's definitely a big group of students who socialise a lot together, and I'm not part of that, so it can feel like being on the outisde. But I also get to talk to a lot of people who sit in my area of the open-plan office, most of them overseas students, and we have a nice sociable vibe even if it's not extended beyond the office - we don't go for lunch or go out together (well, some do, but only where there's proper friendships between two or three people, not a general thing) but we always have friendly words with each other when we're in the office.

I could be concerned that I'm not part of the main group - I know my character is to stay away from popular crowds and it's something i want to work on in order to be more successful at networking and more easy in social situations with other academics - but to be honest, I just can't be bothered. To my mind, none of this is about popularity - if my research is interesting and I show interest in other people's research, then I'll make the contacts I need, and I have friends outside academia for everything else...

I'm a very quiet, shy and reserved PhD student. I don't know any other students in the process of doing PhDs, and the only interaction I have with any is on this thread. I don't go into my university unless I have a meeting, so I suppose that is the reason why. I'm a natural born worrier and right now I'd be horrible company for other PhD students anyway.