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why my supervisor hate me?

A

Hi
I am in my thirld year in the ph.d program. my work is going fine now. However I am sick and tired of my supervisor negative attitude. the whole time I feel so sad and down. I never remember him giving me an scientific advice or positive reaction to what I am doing. the problem I feel that he is not satisfied. I asked him what he thinks. he get angry. he said if he says nothing it means every thing is fine. if I do not go to him he will never ask what is going on. when I go few times like once in month. he does not look in my eye. and stay loolikg at his computer monitor. I feel insulted and humilated. when I started my ph.d in Canada, he asked me to thank him because
he brought me from the thirld world and no one else will do. he yelled at me when I have my first committee metting report full of spelling mistakes. I confused and I do not know what to do? he does not do that with his other master students. I am the only ph.d student in his lab.

P

Your supervisor sounds like an idiot - you have done well to survive 3 years with him, well done! Regarding meetings, do you email and ask for a meeting in advance? Better to let supervisors name a time when they are not busy rather than just approach them with no warning. If he still ignores you, tell him he is being rude and ask for his attention more directly. Perhaps it is not an insult to you personally but rather he has no people skills.

To avoid his anger in future, carefully check your writing before you show it to him - make sure you use the spell-checker on your computer. Maybe get a friend to help you go over your writing for spelling and grammar errors first? It is amazing what friends will do to help for a beer or a chocolate bar!

P

His comments regarding bringing you to Canada from a 3rd world country are unprofessional and rude. Perhaps you need to try to ignore your supervisors negative attitude and rudeness and focus on finishing - 3 years in means the end must be in sight and you never have to work with this person again. Hang in there and hope your experiments keep working for you.

P

"he asked me to thank him because he brought me from the thirld world and no one else will do."

Unbelievable! You poor thing, what a horrible arrogant thing to actuall say out loud to another human being. I don't know what to say as I was quite shocked when I read that.

One part of me says that is grounds for complaint, but then I can understand that you might not want to stir things up anymore and may be best just to grit your teeth and bare it. I know it may seem no help, but I am a firm believer in karma and I don't think a person can continue with such an unkind attitude and it not come back on them. Meanwhile try to console yourself by focusing on getting finished with the PhD and not having to deal with this idiot in the future. Imagine that perhaps one day you will superceed him. Its a cliche but ignorance ususally comes from fear, so he is probably threatened by you.. you know younger, cleverer, more dynamic!

S

Sounds like he has some issues. I can't believe he said that to you. You have done well surviving that length of time with him. One of my supervisors is so arrogant. I've only had him for a couple of months. He spends most of his time looking at the monitor too. I think he does it to remind me that he's the important one in the room and I don't matter. He is also incapable of replying to emails which really annoys me. If it goes on for much longer I'll be asking for a new supervisor. I still have 2 years to go and don't think I can take much more. It's times like this that I realise I'm really on my own.

A

ya,I always felt I am on my own,especially the first year. now I try even not to see my supervisor as much as possible. and I manage by having a good relation with my other committee members. they actually supervised me more than my supervisor did. but what I can do else. to be honest when I started, I believed that I should thank him because no one will else bring me from 3ed world country!! it took me long time to gain back my confedence. although I have my master from europe and I used to have great relationship with my supervisor in my Master. but in my ph.d is very difficult to describe the relation with my supervisor and the comment he told me is just an example of his annoying list of comments. any way today I was very happy I got quite very good results and I almost dance in the lab!!!tomporrow first thing I am going to discuss it with one of my committee members. this is the way I survive till the moment. and thanks all for your kind advices.

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