I am not quite sure what to do. My supervisor is turning 35 soon and he has pretty much been telling the whole department how he hates getting old and also the exact day of his birthday. I am thinking of getting him a card but am not sure if that is appropriate. I have not done anything for his previous birthdays because I didn't even know when they were. Also, our relationship has been somewhat strained but he has always been pretty generous with the supervision time so I am thinking of thanking him for that in the card.

Do students do this? Is it too much like "ass-kissing"?

personally I wouldn't bother as you've never done it before. Just say happy birthday on the day/week and thanks for the help so far, and that should do. Unless you want to keep a box of nice biscuits or chocolates he likes handy so you can offer him one :-)

Yep, that sounds like a good idea. I would feel kind of uncomfortable with the card.

i just emailed my sup with a happy birthday message :p

Cool Amanda, did he/she reply?

I have learnt to avoid giving presents even small to people related directly to my academia. It sometimes have reverse effect and they become less helpful and even start ignoring you. I had once spent 40quid on a mentor for a prepaid meal at a local restaurant as a thanks giving and he advised research panel to cut my funding. Thankfully the pro-vice chancellor accepted my appeal and restored it.

Well as a team we got our sup a bouquet of flowers and a card last year, but that was because it was her 50th and we all knew about it. I wanted to get a helium balloon with 50 on it but the rest of the team instructed me not to get anything with 50 on it so we just got a normal 'non-50' card! It went down pretty well, and she does get us cards for our birthdays unless she's abroad somewhere. I guess it depends on your relationship with your sup! Maybe get a joint one from you and others that are on the same team/work with the same sup as you (if there are any!) and that way it's a little bit less personal! Best, KB

KB - thats so sweet that your supervisor gets you all birthday cards!

Lostinoz, it sounds like he wants everyone to know about his birthday, to be honest I would find that quite irritating! I think you should just say happy birthday to him unless there is a card going around the department that everyone is signing, no need to make any more effort than that really...I think your relationship with your supervisor is probably improving without you needing to do anything else, in fact anything else might not seem right.

I'm only at MSc level but have done my UG at the same university so am quite familiar with the staff, but I only know one tutor's birthday, because she mentioned in a seminar that it was her birthday that day. I wouldn't send her a card though, it seems a bit innapropriate and unnecessary. However, I appreciate that the relationship you have with your supervisor at PhD level is closer than at MSc level.

in my first year my sup had a big birthday so i got him a little gift for that, but otherwise I'll just send a nice email on the day to wish him a happy birthday.

I don't think a card would be ass-kissing. I personally think giving a card is a nice gesture (even though I'm not really a card person and would rather save the trees), but it depends on what you're comfortable with.

I don't think saying Happy Birthday to your supervisor is inappropriate, if you know it then you should just say Happy Birthday.:-)

i would just say happy birthday if I saw him, but not otherwise, and i don't think I would send a card (but then I tend not to send cards anyway to people I see). the relationship between sup and student is one that is different from a usual friend relationship, and should probably remain so until you have finished, altohugh it is obviously a friendly relationship - assuming things are going well, but there needs to be enough distance for critique to be undertaken without other things getting in the way, if you know what I mean. It might become a 'friend' relationship later, but then that will be when you are more equal and able to decide, rather than it being thrust upon you.