I am in the middle of writing up my thesis and its incredibly hard work as many of you know. I’ve given up time with my boyfriend and family and friends to try and get it finished. I have a close-knit group of friends and for the last few months I haven’t been able to go out on a Saturday night with them. I’ll still meet up and go for coffee or go visit them every 1-2 weeks, and chat on the phone. But they’ve started to get annoyed at me. They say if I don’t have time to go out for a night with them, I shouldn’t visit my boyfriend or babysit for my family. That it should be balanced. I was single for a long time and had a lot of free time before to go out and socialise, first year PhD was quite laid back. It’s just at the minute I don’t. I worked at my PhD for almost 4 years I don't want to give it up for a Saturday night out. I keep telling them it’s only for a few months then I’ll have lots of free time again.
Am I being unreasonable? Is it wrong to ask them to give me space to write or a few months? has anyone else had this problem?

Hey Hcark! I am also in the writing up phase, and it is of course hard work. I don't think it's fair of them to give you a hard time over not being able to go out with them every weekend, especially given that you are doing your best to keep in touch with them. I would just try to explain again that you have a lot of different pressures at the moment and you are doing your best to balance them, but ask for their patience for a few months until you are through with your thesis. Most likely they just don't really understand the type of work and the pressure- I went through this when I was doing my MSc whilst living with undergrad students. When you are done with your thesis and you've got the time to attend your usual nights out they will soon forget about the current time period. If they are good friends they will try to understand and not put you under even more pressure. Just make sure you keep in touch as best you can so you're not behind on any big news or goss, because that can make you feel even more alienated! Good luck with the write-up and the friends thing! KB

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I don't think it's wrong at all! If they don't give you the space you need now the PhD could go on for a lot longer. Often it's the case that if you where to go ut with them instead of doing the work you might be stressed instead of enjoying yourself (which may be equally annoying to them) so its best for all concerned if the just let you get on with it! Like you say it's not for long.

Hi Hcark, I totally understand, I'm having the same problems with a group of my friends. we always used to meet up 4-6 times a year but now i'm in my final year I have kept telling them I can't but they keep pressuring me to meet up and then I end up feeling guilty and going which I can't afford in time or money. (this usually involves a 16 hour round journey for me!)
I think they're probably just trying to do what they think is best and help us not get stressed by doing fun things aswell but unfortunatley we know that we can't do that, and that if only they would understand that pressure and in a few more months we can be back to normal!

Hope you manage to get it sorted and that they understand - like others have said if they're real friends they'll still be there once its all over so try not to worry too much about it, hard as that is - I understand you don't want to risk losing them.