Hello everyone,
I'm applying for a PhD position and it would be really great if you could help me review my cover letter! I will also be especially grateful for advice on how to improve the letter regarding aspects that are not purely related to language such as conciseness, wording, and elements that can be left out or should be further expounded, respectively.
I am really grateful for all the help I can get!

Dear ***,

I wish to apply for the PhD program in Cognitive Zoology starting in September 2015. I graduated in Psychology from *** University, Germany in November, 2014. My academic aim in pursuing a doctorate with your group is to become a researcher grounded in comparative cognition research.

The focus of my studies thus far has been neuro-cognitive psychology, particularly attentional control processes in visual perception. More specifically, I wrote both my Bachelor's and Master's thesis on the attentional blink– a phenomenon central to understanding temporal aspects of attention. From my theses and research internships in the same domain, I gained experience in various areas of psychological research, including design, programming and conduct of experiments as well as statistical analyses. The studies involved gathering behavioral data such as saccadic movements during eye-tracking procedures. To prepare for a future academic career, I have written most of my research papers, including my theses, in English.

Due to my excellent grades and ranking among the top two percent of my year, I succeeded in receiving a scholarship from the German National Academic Foundation.

I also completed a research internship in ***, Germany, where I collaborated with John Doe and John Smith on a paper on *** in American crows. More precisely, I was involved in experiment design, data collection, construction of apparatuses and video coding. My duties at the station also included non-academic tasks such as feeding, maintenance, organizing and supervision.

I am very enthusiastic about doing my PhD in *** as my ideal field of study would be animal cognition and evolution-related research. I also greatly enjoy working with animals and especially corvids: work in *** gave me the opportunity to interact with American crows, jackdaws, a rook and a carrion crow.

In my free time, I enjoy nature-related activities such as hiking. I also started doing volunteer work in conservation, helping out with landscape preservation and bird census projects. When possible, I love visiting other countries and I spent one year as an au pair in Japan (living with an English-speaking host family) and three months in New Zealand travelling.

I am certain that due to my enthusiasm for the subject, I will be able to make a meaningful contribution to your research effort.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Does it fit on one page, reasonably spaced?

At a 1.5 spacing using Arial (11) font the text it is four lines too long (after adding my name at the end).

Hey Yanthra,

I've provided a new version for you (next post).

I've just cut some of the information down. Some of the specifics (like your grades and specific scholarship) can be read from your CV. I also cut out the interests that aren't directly related (so kept the bird stuff in, took out the travelling etc). You want to come across as a high achiever, but also humble (if that makes sense?).

Dear ____

I wish to apply for the PhD program in Cognitive Zoology starting in September 2015. I graduated in Psychology from *** University, Germany in November, 2014. My academic aim is to become a researcher grounded in comparative cognition research.

The focus of my studies thus far has been neuro-cognitive psychology, particularly attentional control processes in visual perception. More specifically, I wrote both my Bachelor's and Master's thesis on the attentional blink– a phenomenon central to understanding temporal aspects of attention. From my theses and research internships in the same domain, I gained experience in various areas of psychological research, including design, programming and conduct of experiments as well as statistical analyses. The studies involved gathering behavioral data such as saccadic movements during eye-tracking procedures.

I have earned scholarships regarding my academic success and have completed a research internship ,where I collaborated with John Doe and John Smith on a paper on *** in American crows. More precisely, I was involved in experiment design, data collection, construction of apparatuses and video coding.

I am very enthusiastic about doing my PhD in *** as my ideal field of study would be animal cognition and evolution-related research. In my free time, I enjoy nature-related activities and engage in volunteer work around environmental conservation which has included helping out with landscape preservation, and contributing my specialist skills towards bird census projects.

I am certain that due to my enthusiasm for the subject, I will be able to make a meaningful contribution to your research effort.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Thank you so much for taking your time to look at my letter!
I will incorporate your advice. :)