I feel like I’m the only person on earth waiting for this and it’s killing me! I need someone to wait with! Anyone out there?

Wow looks like I really am the only person 😬

I'm waiting for ESRC funding decisions and the waiting is killing me, too, if that's of any consolation!
My refresh button is wearing out haha.

It's nice to have someone to angst with isn't it! :D Oof, February. That's torture! I can't remember when I applied (end of Jan maybe?), but I had my interview about a month ago, was told I'd hear back at the start of April aaaand now it's the 16th...which in my book is way past the start of April!

I think I could've handled the waiting game better if they'd just said 'April.' Or mid/late April. It would've saved me incessantly checking my emails every five minutes for the past two weeks! I'm normally quite a patient person but I'm really struggling with this. I guess it's because I want it so badly. I've already told myself I can't afford to do it without funding, and I'd have to wait another year to reapply so...it's an all-eggs-one-basket type situation. Horrible feeling!

Interesting that you think you've only got a 5% chance...where did you get that figure from? I came across a stat somewhere that suggested it was 15%- but I don't remember how old that stat was/whether it was about ESRC funding specifically. Either way, it's so tough isn't it? Hoping for something you know is so unlikely to happen :/

Hey - oh yes I do wish they would just state a day or a week when we would hear back. You must be going crazy and feel really nervous because you could get that email any second!! Haha that probably made you feel even worse!

So did you do the interview with them or with your chosen uni department? I did mine with the department and they supported my application. But obviously that doesn’t mean anything because of how competitive it is. When I said I had a five percent chance, I had looked at the previous winners of the funding and none of them come from my background- educationally or otherwise so I guess I don’t realistically have a chance and it also makes me wonder why the department would bother supporting me. But anyway... that’s a different topic I guess. I won’t bore you with that. I just want someone to wait with as I don’t know anyone who has been through this in real life.

The results from the ahrc will be out either this month, may or June - that’s what it says on the website! Can you imagine !!! So that’s a lot of refreshing emails!!

I really hope you get it! You said something really interesting about reapplying... I didn’t think of that! I guess technically I could. Some people take the unfunded route and apply a couple of times then- but I can’t afford to risk it. Would you risk it? To me it sounds stressful. I think I would just give up. I applied for a studentship before this and got an interview but didn’t get further. Have you applied for any other funding routes? Or does it all depend on this?

I'm interested in why you think your background or academic history might hold you back...do you mind sharing why you think that might be the case? I realise of course that those from privileged backgrounds have often had easier paths to success- but I think a lot of Universities/funding bodies these days are keen not to appear elitist. If you've not had everything handed to you on a silver platter, you've shown personal growth and commitment to success, then in my opinion that would give you an edge over another candidate. I'd try and look at it that way if you can :)



It's a roll of the dice at the end of the day. We have no idea who will be reviewing our applications, what preferences or biases they may have...ultimately what will be will be. But definitely consider reapplying if it doesn't happen this time around! I'm in the same boat as you in that starting off unfunded really isn't an option. If I don't get funding this time, I plan to use this year to upskill and revise my proposal and attempt again next year, maybe applying to other funding bodies so I don't have all my eggs in one basket (the Wellcome Trust offers good funding too, but I missed the deadline this year). It is stressful though, and the idea of having to do it all again does notttt sound fun.



Gutted to hear that you're going to have to wait until June, potentially! That's a long time to just...not know. It's a bit Schrödinger's, isn't it? Like, we both are and aren't doing a PhD next year- I'm currently planning two potential futures for myself, one in which I'm a PhD student and one where I'm looking for more work...it's really surreal!

Oh yeah I am definitely planning two futures although my current job contract means I can wait a couple more months before I start looking for a new one which is better timing. Every day is just work and imagining possible futures for myself which I hate doing because I feel like I’m jinxing it hahaha

Are you doing a phd straight after the MA? I just graduated from my MA last October.

And what makes you as excited as I am to continue studying? Is it your topic that you can’t wait to research? Or more the phd itself and everything that comes with it?

I won’t go into detail about my experiences just because there are cruel people on the internet and this is a public forum but I just think those people who got the funding are so amazing and have done so many things. I don’t stand a chance! But it’s been interesting to go through this stressful process. Nobody in my family has ever gone into higher ed before me and what I want is my nieces to be able to ask me for help if they want to go through it too. And I guess after undergoing the process I do have a much better understanding that I can now pass on to them if necessary one day. That’s the best thing I can take from this if I’m unsuccessful

I know exactly how you feel re jinxing it! And telling yourself not to get your hopes up is totally useless.

I've liked the idea of doing a PhD since I did my undergraduate degree, as I just love studying, reading and writing - but always thought it was something for other people. Smarter people. People 'not-like-me'. But I was talking to my tutor when doing my MA ( 7 years after completing my BA) saying how I liked the idea, but wasn't sure I could, and he told me that it was just my imposter syndrome talking and that I'm just as qualified as anyone to do a PhD. He was the one who encouraged me to go for it- I never would've done otherwise. The trouble is now that I've let myself admit that I want it and believe that I could do it, I know how crushed I'll be if I don't get it. I'm kind of trying to prepare myself for that eventuality, but of course that's easier said than done.

From what you've said, it sounds like you're already an incredible example for your nieces. You're the first in your family to get a degree, then you got an MA- you're putting yourself out there, you're working towards your goals- all of that is so admirable. I'm really rooting for you to get this funding!

Oh my gosh- I can't believe it, but I got the funding!!!! I just got the email! I can't believe it 😭

Hi marmite - it's me - the OP. I realised I had 2 accounts here and deleted the wrong one by mistake. OMG luv - wowowowowowowow I am so happy for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Thank you! It hasn't sunk in yet- but I'm so happy. I just hope Removed62713 gets funded too so it can be celebrations all round!