Hi, like others I am having serious problems with my PhD and it's got to the point now that I don't know where to turn.

When I started I was really enthusiastic about it despite it being linked to a topic i didn't have much experience in, but I was keen to learn and broaden my knowledge. The first few months were challenging but ok in learning how to operate certain instruments, what reading I should be doing and beginning to understand the topic and I was getting praise for what I was doing. By the christmas I was beginning to doubt whether this was indeed for me as I wasn't enjoying the routine, I was ending up spending many hours reading papers and textbooks at home as well as the time spent at university but I wasnt really getting better at my understanding of the topic and was just generally unhappy. I aired these concerns with my supervisor and we put it down to a momentary lull/maybe i needed a break and if I rested over christmas and then continued putting the effort in I'll improve and so will the situation. However things have just got worse, my understanding isn't that much better then it was before christmas despite my best efforts. As I get more into my project the more hindering this is being and the more criticism I'm getting from my supervisor. I find myself spending more time at university now and then returning home and continuing to work and read to try and improve myself thus having little/no social life. The last month in particular has been especially miserable where criticism at my lack of understanding and standard of my work by my supervisor led me to run to cry in the loos one day. Some say I should quit as I'm miserable, but others and my family say I shouldn't and theyd be really dissapointed if I did. Both choices seem awful and I feel trapped unable to choose either one. ADVICE PLEASE! :S

Other things to note:
I'm worried obviously about dissapointing my friends family and supervisor if I do quit
I'm worried about whether I'd have to pay back the money which has been paid to me monthly since starting if I did because I can't afford to pay them back!

On the other hand I'm seriously concerned that simply I can't actually do this (ie im not smart enough) if I stayed and I could end up being kicked off anyway at my year one review meeting in june/july as my supervisor as said to me in the past that I need to show that i can do it.
My confidence has taken a massive hit over the past few months and my passion for the subject and PhD has pretty much completely evaporated, something needs to happen but I'm unsure as to what path to take, both will be bad for me in the short term it seems but long term I can't see which would be better

I think it requires brains and courage to admit that you would have a better future doing something else. I am in a similar situation, although I accepted the PhD offer I sometimes think maybe it would be better if I just go back to practicing law. I think everyone has similar issues when there is more than one option and quitting does not necessarily mean you are not good enough. On the other hand I would suggest you try a bit more, it seems like you have lost your enthusiasm but maybe it will come back when you take a step back and try to picture yourself doing something else. Good luck.

Marcus, every PhD student feels like they don't know enough. Many academics still feel they don't know enough. Look up 'impostor syndrome'.

Can you talk to your friends and colleagues and see what they think about you to try to get some honest opinions?

Only you can know whether you truly have the ability to do the PhD or not though. Think about it and make the right decision for you, not because of what your friends and family think.

If you do quit, you won't have to pay back the stipend money, so don't worry about that.

Thank you everyone for the feedback :)

Well I do believe that my friends (both ones I've known for over 10 years and ones I've made since starting my PhD) are being honest, and I do agree with what they're saying, its not like me to quit anything I set out to do but on the flip side I have been struggling with this PhD and I have been very unhappy for a long time with it. And I also understand my supervisor's warnings over the course of the PhD so far in that I need to improve if I'm staying, but no matter how much mud I'm throwing at the wall it's not really sticking hence the concern that I can't do it.

I'm doing a lot of soul searching right now and I'll think hard over this week as to which way I want to turn.

Thats one worry off my mind though with the money if thats the case :)

Can I ask what the topic it is you are doing your PhD on, maybe someone here can give you a litle help?

It's a PhD in Chemistry where I'm using NMR/MRI techniques to analyse reverse micelles containing either water or ionic liquids, so I'm using diffusion measurements, T1,T2 relaxation and other things

It could be you're not as bad as your supervisor makes out! Do you have a second supervisor you could clarifyvthings with? I've got 2 supervisors and one thinks my ideas ate unclear whilst the other totally gets what I'm talking about. Also there are those that just as picky and those that want you to suffer I'm afraid.