.... not to forget the most strange things:

"You walk too slowly in the corridors!" to me and: "You walk too fast" to our other PhD student.

" You should grow some hair!" In a grumbling voice to our postdoc- we've got three who shave their head/are involuntary bald. She can't tell them apart if they are sitting at a shared desk with their backs to my supervisor.

" Our technician has lost soo much weight- now she is so much more fitter and will be able to work more and think faster!" .. this one is hearsay, though!

Concentrate on the things you can do to pass:

Proof read the thesis for spelling mistakes.

Learn about the work of the external and internal examiners.

If you're critical about your own work- how would you formulate it without sounding too critical?

What would you do if you were to continue.

Practice sounding enthusiastic about the project.

Some one in my lab had a terrible viva- the external asked him for two hours about the externals field- not the field of the thesis. The internal didn't change the topic either because he was not experienced enough.

They came out saying he'd failed. In the end the examiners and my supervisor agreed that they'd let him pass and he'd have to resit a viva about the background of the externals field. This never happend- and he is now a PostDoc.

I agree with fluffy brains- the more experienced the examiner, the better. First time examiners are more likely to fail you, because they are just as unshure as you are about wether you have enough data or not. A more seasoned examiner will know that PhD don't always work out the way they should ..... if you know your thesis, know your field and know the waeknesses of your thesis you should be fine.

Can you talk to the internal examiner- i.e. do you know him/her? Mine contacted me beforhand with the date and also wrote that I should pop by his office if I had any questins- I did and he did his best to calm me down.

The only viva I know of where someone failed was a case of fraud- made up data. And you haven't done that now??

Oh dear, these acknowledements are soo difficult!

Sorry, dearest H !

I would like to thank H for her most lovely poem, upon which I stumbled on after a time of unexcusable absence from this forum and put a smile on my face.

There .....

http://www.jobvector.com/eng_index.php3

Try looking for Phd positions on this site. Go to the job search area and then choose the classification Phd. Good Luck!!

Hi Sylvester- or do you prefer Sly??

No not really leaving- kind of doing nothing at the moment exept planing the bloody graduation ceremony thingy- 20 £ per ticket, plus the gown for 45 £ (and sexist questions about my "bust size") - if I'd known this I wouldn't have come to the viva. Oh, and 138 £ for binding 4 copies of my thesis.

So, I'm not going to hang around in cyberspace too much- or only to spend money online.

BUT I did forget you, Sylvester

so:

Last but not least I would like to fondly mention Slyvester, who was a great mate on this forum! Cheers!

Errr- do you guys all have such tame supervisors????

Her coments:

"You're a waste of lab space, my time and money"

"You're not showing enough gratitude to the people in the lab" - not that the postdocs she was referring to agreed to that, though!

" If I had known you were thinking of doing a postdoc I wouldn't have helped you through the PhD!!!"- Seeing that she tried to bully me into doing a second MPhil for months ....

"You could get a job in a third rate lab in Germany"- implying as usual that non-UK labs are at best third rate.

Errr- do you guys all have such tame supervisors????

Her coments:

"You're a waste of lab space, my time and money"

"You're not showing enough gratitude to the people in the lab" - not that the postdocs she was referring to agreed to that, though!

" If I had known you were thinking of doing a postdoc I wouldn't have helped you through the PhD!!!"- Seeing that she tried to bully me into doing a second MPhil for months ....

"You could get a job in a third rate lab in Germany"- implying as usual that non-UK labs are at best third rate.

First and foremost I would like to thank the wonderful PostGrad forum for the opportunity to write in their wonderfull forum and for the patience and guidance during the completion of my PhD.

I owe special thanks to H, who kindly mentioned me in his poem, and without whome my time spent in this forum would have been less enjoyable.

My time here in this forum would also not have been the same without Ann and 404, and I would like to thank them for their frienship and support. I also owe thanks to Fluffymonster, who was a great help and also a friend.

My acknowledgement would not be complete without mentioning Clara van der Akker and the other members of this forum. Finally I will always remember DanB for his advice concerning moon cups and for pulling up coulntless old threads.

The exeption to the above mentioned rule is a paper with just two authers on it- you then cite both surnames (404 and Fluffymonster, 2007).

Quite frankly- use Endnote, that'll insert the references correctly for you. Also avoids spelling mistakes of authors names. And it saves time.

Citing the first name makes it sound like you're buddies, I wouldn't do it- too informal.

If you want to cite something thats not published then cite it like this: (Fluffymonster, personal communication).

et al. is usually written in italics.

Ahh, then you two could join me with the night cap chat: 11pm- Und wir koennten uns dann ja auf Deutsch unternalten, nicht? Falls ich noch nicht alles vergessen habe, seuftz.

I'd be up for a 11pm tea- or a night cap, if this is more your thing. Maybe a glass of sherry, then.

Yes- why? I trust you are also in reality an insomniac?

why thank you