first of all, thank you so much for your kind comments. it is really helpful and i feel almost as if i would have a real peer group around me. It is such a relief to know that i am not the only one in this situation (and even though i've always known this intellectually, it is a different story when i read your accounts). it is unbelivable how much motivation i get out of your words.
i do have the will to finish IT, and from some unknown place there is always a new rise of optimism - which usually doesn't last for a very long time, but still...
as a matter of fact, i try to condition myself that the next few months are probably noy going to be a lot of fun, but there is an end to it. every concentrated hour of work brings me closer to this end. and finally, i guess when you look back on your life one day, these phase becomes just one amongst others, and if we are lucky, we learned something from it. at least, this is what i hope!
i think the most frustrating aspect is really the lack of control over this situation, my own emotions, emotions of others, the whole thesis,... there is no guideline really... but i guess thats one of the challenges that come naturally with a phd?
anyways please keep your comments coming, they really help me very much. an account of your own experience, how you handled it or how you are handleing it right now...

hello there,
i need a place to whine because i feel that i just hit rock bottom.
i life on a small pacific island, the university here is very small and there is no phd student network or counselling. i'm in the fourth year of my thesis and i am supposed to finish in august. i did all my research and writing in a language that is not mine. i never had any funding, i worked all through the last 3 years and that was already very hard. my two supervisors (i do a cotutelle) are non existent and there is literally no one who can give me an advice in my work, especially now where i am halfway through the analysing/writing stage (i am in social sciences). which comes with the usual trouble of doubts about myself, my work, my efficency, not working enough or the right way and so on. add a car that just broke down and no money to buy a new one, no money to take a flight to europe to see my family for comfort. no idea what i am going to live off if i don't finish in august.
i have a boyfriend since a bit more than one year. he is not easy to life with, and has in some regards very different views on how to live life and a relationship. i love him very much though, and he has been supportive most of the time (he does not have a university degree but tries to understand the challenges that come with it).
since a few weeks i am very irritable, i cry almost every day for no special reason (altough, most of the time it is enough if my boyfiriend drops one phrase that is not very sensitive) and i tend to become very pessimistic about everything. before this stage i usually never cried, maybe once or twice a year. i started to isolate myself and i can't stand other people anymore. quite often i have trouble sleeping through the night. i have a tendency to blame everything on my relationship, and only see my own problems and this is why my boyfriend told me this morning that he can't handle it anymore.
we already had plans for what we are going to do once it's over, so i am devastated to see that he couldn't go on any longer.
i try to keep on telling myself that it was my choice to put me into this situation, and i can't blame my boyfriend for being tired of it, i think i am really very difficult to handle at the moment.
as a matter of fact though i need to continue in order to finish IT on time. i just have no idea where to find the energy to do so.