Signup date: 04 Mar 2009 at 1:46am
Last login: 30 Mar 2009 at 8:49pm
Post count: 2
Right, I need some advice. I am going to school in the UK but am originally from the US where the rules are much more puritanical so it's hard for me to judge what's right. I am wondering about my relationship with one of my supervisors. He is only about ten years older than me and we get on exceedingly well. Maybe a little too well but it's hard for me to judge. That's why I need advice. He's very open with the students and he is a regular at pub crawls, etc. We never go out just the two of us but we often seem to pair off at social events. I get a very strong vibe from him and there is almost surely sexual tension. He's married though. In any event, we seem to be becoming really great friends and I sometimes treat him the same why I treat other friends. I might playfully push him around or call him names or tell him to F off, but all in fun. We do talk about relationships, mostly mine. I've been having boyfriend issues and he asks about it so I tell him. And yes, we have talked about sex in the abstract, not about sex with eachother. He sends me emails that aren't really necessary to send, like he's trying to keep in contact in between meetings/events where we will see eachother. He more or less decided for me that we would be going to a seminar I hadn't planned on going to. I've really grown to like him as a man and I think (it's speculation, but my instincts are pretty good) he might like me as a woman. Personally, I find this makes me more comfortable in our roles as supervisor/supervisee but maybe other people wouldn't see it that way. I like that we are a bit of a married couple. I don't think either of us have any plans to bring this tension to a climax (no pun intended) but I was wondering if anyone thought it was a dangerous place for a supervisor/supervisee relationship to be. Others have commented that we might be borderline innappropriate, but what do people expect when there is so much alcohol fueling academia? One professor/friend said he'd never talked sex with his students. Another student told me I should see my supervisor as a "god-like figure". I don't see him that way, but I respect him and have strong affection for him. Does he not have enough power over me because we are so close? Maybe he's just a new, younger, hip generation of supervisors who would rather have a pint with their supervisee than lord it over them. Is that very wrong? Please advise.
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