Thanks for your reply Littlemissworry. Its complicated as my daughter has been quite ill. I had been planning to return abroad for a week or so at a time but my daughter nearly died when she was 10 months old. She's been in and out of hospital over the last 2 years so we made a decision as a family that I couldn't go abroad and leave her here and it wasn't fair to expect my husband to leave his job and everyone come with me. My new job came with private medical cover for us all - so I'm not saying I am stuck with having to do it - I enjoy this career path as well...just having to think of academia and phd as something to come back to in later life as things never happen how you expect them to!

To be honest, I'm just happy that my daughter is relatively healthy and we have enough cash from day to day at the moment.

Anyhows...!...enough of me justifying why I'm giving up...will it plunge me into financial destitution ?!?

Lol. Yes, it was a concisous decision to become pregnant and I know that lots of people do work tremendously hard and manage to write up PhDs in similar circumstances. I'm not using that as an excuse.

There were a number of factors:
a) I underestimated just how difficult it would be to work during my maternity year off (naivity but every expectant mother underestimates how time consuming children are!)
b) I had some research problems whilst abroad with data gathering that meant I really need to go back for quite a period to get a complete picture and doing that whilst having a child would be difficult
c) we had financial problems centered around my husband's job that meant it was difficult for me not to be working any more.

Thanks for your reply about my question though :)

I had my daughter part-way through my PhD and found it difficult to arrange to go back abroad to complete research. For financial reasons, phd is now part-time and I have a full time unrelated job which includes studying for a professional qualification that is unrelated to my phd). My supervisors try to persuade me that I can write up, realistically, its not going to happen.

So before I broach this with the AHRC, I just wanted to informally check...will they make me pay any of the money back? I can't find anything about it in the AHRC guidelines and I am meant to be sending back a form by september that officially ends the period of registered research and gives me another year to submit.

I haven't had any payment for the next academic session yet so if I notify them I am withdrawing, will I have to pay anything back from previous years?

I feel really sad about this. Like I have failed myself, my supervisors and my departments. The crappy thing is that I am capable of doing it but my life has gone in other directions and have responsibilities that are more pressing.