Humility is a great way to break down the silence barrier.

U/grads often believe YOU know everything and they know nothing. Start with something like "ok I want to learn from you and you will all learn more from each other than you will from me or the textbook! We all lose out if you won't share your ideas with us all" or words to that effect. This is not a false invitation, it is a genuine request and a genuine belief for me. How many other venues can you think of where you may have dozens of different nationalities, ages, languages and personal experiences all communicating with each other (allbeit non verbal in some cases).

Seminars or tutorials are more intimate and less intimidating than lectures and should be more rewarding for both tutor and student.

There are of course some cultures where 'speaking up' is not endorsed and where challenging authority figures is frowned upon but you could always ask direct questions because not replying when asked is also not seen as commendable in many cultures.

good luck

Were any of you originally motivated to commence your PhD by a problem you had recognised and chose PhD research as a route to solving it, and how many were motivated by the kudos of 'being' a Dr, or attracted by the funding available to solve someone elses recognised problem?

[Cassy's quote] I´m due to submit in March as well, but that´s just not going to happen.

If you are due to submit in only four months or so are you sure it isn't the rapidly nearing deadline that is increasing your stress levels as oppose to the amount of support your husband can or is willing to offer? A few people have taken to blaming your husband I see. Unfair surely as you have come this far successfully with (or in spite of) his supportive contribution.

I have 3 teenage boys and am divorced so there is certainly too much testosterone in this house but you need to find quality time, not quantity for research don't you? I am an early riser ('cos their not) and find 4 hours at dawn more than sufficient for high brow thinking and analysing. Then I lapse back into teen trauma prevention till they go off to their respective education and employment realms.

You might want to look at at when you are mantally sharpest and focus on scheduling the rest at your leisure, after all it doesn't take a rocket scientist to vacuum, wash dishes or make beds. I find the dull domestic chores therapeutic when the PhD is itself being like a stroppy teenager and won't perform as expected.

Hope this helps.

Good question Ju Ju

Firstly, I like the fact that you use 'doing' not 'getting' as many of the guides present the PhD (process not product style)

To answer your question however - might I call on a very popular maxim we have all heard often?

Because I'm worth it!

(up)

juno - is that really how you are addressed via email?

Never heard of that personally but I would be slighted by it too.

What are the staff addressed as?

Lara you describe the sort of supervisor - student relationship I see a lot of my fellow students having to negotiate and tolerate. Having read several of your threads and comments on other people's issues you strike me as very intelligent, capable and knowledgable in your field. I have immense respect for those people who are held hostage to their less than ideal supervisors simply for their tenacity and dedication. I deduce from what's been said that it is in those situations that the underling aspect is manipulated by some.

I have been incredibly fortunate perhaps in my own situation with both my supers. When we disagree, we state why and what can be done about it but they are the experts on how to get a thesis to pass - I'm not so their views although appearing petty at times are taken on board and someone has already mentioned that during those sort of times the 'student' identity can be a source of self forgiveness.

jouri, I am the first to admit I still have so much to learn about the world and especially about the academic world so you are absolutely correct. Humility is a virtue, not a form of defeat.

walm - apology not necessary but the intent is appreciated nonetheless and I too have succumbed to the reply in a hurry syndrome when I read something that stirs me.

Walm - it is me who is perceived as arrogant because I don't do what is expected - not you although I would tip my hat to you if you were equally demonised in the academic community. It's not that I think they are lesser or my type are greater it's simply that the doctoral field is no longer a straightforward scientific/industialist divide. Believe me - we need them as much if not more than they need us.

My point of refelection is in how we play our respective cards as people - academic truth seeking researchers and what passes for worthwile researchers. I'm on the climb for justification in social sciences, not the accepted wisdom of what is regarded as natural science. You know it figures in who we regard ouselves as...

oh dear! It was not my intention to upset or offend. I certainly wasn't trying to patronise. Your contribution was not unwelcome and I hope not wasted as others read - but keep silent. We are all here discussing what the nuts and bolts are and personal slants are ... well just that! Best to keep them out of the wider context. Don't you agree?

chris... I have to admit I didn't know who G McK was till your post - now I hang my head in shame as a Scot and an honest head blown PhD researcher.

I just don't feel like a student and wondered if anyone else shared this mismatch

Both my supers are long term public sctor advocates which has been a problem in the past - I'm a bit of a maverick in their eyes and certainly not an obedient submissive student. Alas we have drawn in the sand where we will never meet politically and it works.

Walminskipeasucker - if my supervisor 'went mad at me' for anything I would be out the door with the wind blowing in my hair/arrogance.

Let me share a little import from 'the real world' with you. Whether you set up and run a multi million pound industry or form a partnership with a turnover of a few thou a year, the people you are reliant on, work WITH you not FOR you. I see the supervisor - student relationship as the same. My supervisors have to want the same thing as I do - to pass and I expect, nay demand they do everything they are capable of to make that happen. I in return comply with institutional requirements to the best of my ability so everyone is a winner.

shani - I am interested in this topic of course and it does relate to my research but only in a confirmative/disconfirmative way. None of you will be in my thesis or quoted.

A few have hit the nail on the head with the aspect of being thought by the majority of their PhD student colleagues as lecturers because they are not 20 something. My point of inquiry is can it only be an age thing or is their an aura around those who have been (and I use other commenters term) out 'in the real world' and don't behave as a submissive individual and so feel uneasy in the sterotypical 'only a student' identity.

The postgraduate identity doesn't cut it either, 'cos I was one of those during my MBA. The delineation between PhDs and masters isn't as clear cut as it might be - which strikes at my point I guess

Olivia I fully appreciate what you say. The multiple aspect of being a little older and experienced in your field perhaps provides its own protection from what is incorrectly assumed about students and the trainee mentality. When you've been out there and proved yourself already that's where the instability of behaving as though we are novices in everything crumbles I suspect.

Glad you think it's a worthwhile question.

jouri - yes I agree that the power dynamics are overplayed. That may be why I don't quite fall in line with the student side. As a mid career expert in my own numerous fields and possibly more aligned with the academics than the very young students, the boundaries get blurred for older life-accomplished students I think.