Hey all,

I finished my undergrad in Eng Lit in 2016 and then i had a two year gap because i didn't know exactly what to do next. I decided to do an MSc in Marketing here in the UK with the Postgrad loan because i think it will give me great opportunities in the future. So i came here, the first semester passed by fast but i guess i was not managing my studying correctly (two years out of the student life made me forget this) and when i went back home for a whole month during the holidays, i realized not only that i had a tonne to read but that in order to understand and remember all these i was going really slow. Here i have to say that i have many suspicions that i am dyslexic and that is why i'm generally going so slow. So, i had a huge scare during the exam period, i could see my life being destroyed if i failed the exams.

Then i said that i will manage my studying better, which meant studying all day long since for someone else an article of around 25 pages might be a 2hour read but to me it might take a whole day. I have to add here that i was homesick since the first day i came back from the holidays and the fact that there are different problems back home it makes me wanting to be there even more. After the first couple of weeks the readings or my pressure for the assessments got more and now i've reached the point where as soon as i get something in front of me to start reading it and seeing that after a couple of pages that it takes a lot of time for me to read it, i get so stressed and panicked that i just stop. I know i'm losing precious time for my assignments right now but i have no motivation, excitement to do anything, even different chores or just having an appetite to eat. Even the results of the exams, which i passed all three of my classes, didn't even make me feel any better.

I'm seriously thinking of dropping out because the thought of the assignments or the dissertation makes me anxious and right now honestly overwhelming. I haven't talked with anyone about it. But unfortunately it makes me feel bad about the money that i already spent,the different opportunities that i will lose in the future, the disappointment that i feel for myself, the disappointment of my family and friends, and especially of my mother.

Hi Kat,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I am sure you are going to get some helpful replies on this forum. It may be that you need to discuss things with someone (or people on this forum) so that you feel clearer about what you want to do.

When feeling so overwhelmed about things it probably isn't the best time to make a decision. But it does sound a bit like you need to consider whether you WANT to continue or quit - deep down (regardless of what others would think - regardless of the money situation - what do you want?). If the answer is that you want to finish the Masters, then you will need a strategy to address all the issues you raise (stress, dyslexia, low motivation - all of which I am sure are compounding in a vicious cycle). And it IS possible with the right support (disability support, talking to a uni counsellor, making a timetable with small manageable targets etc).

And just to clarify, if you failed an exam this would not destroy your life. It might feel terrible and maybe take some time to get over it, but just to bring things into perspective, it would not actually be the end of the world. I do understand this catastrophic thinking though - it is normal when feeling very stressed. And so it's good to try and have a reality check with yourself now and then. What's the worst case scenario here - and is it actually SO bad that I couldn't overcome it?

Tudor

Ps. I had a friend whose dyslexia only became really apparent during her BSc. She had an assessment then and was able to get support. Really suggest that you look into doing this too, as it helped her a great deal to get the support.

Someone in my office got a 3 month extension on her thesis due to dyslexia. So if you think you have, get a test and say something, departments understand. In exams you will get extra time and you can always game dyslexia exams by purposefully fail them. I had a friend in undergrad who did that and ended up with 100% extra time because he did a uni dyslexia exam hungover.

I am having a similar problem with anxiety and lack of motivation. And the fear of failure is hard to get past but the best way to get past it, is just do it. You haven't said anything that says you aren't able to do it under than slow reading. You have the skills to succeed and if you get started it will be fine. I would suggest making a manageable to do list. Break everything up into 15min tasks and you will see some reward for the work, hopefully increasing your serotonin levels.

If you have passed all semester 1, you probably have 60 credits or 30 ECTS already which if you did decide to walk away would get you a p/g certificate in marketing. If you could manage another semester but not the dissertation, then you'd get a p/g diploma. In other words, you wouldn't walk away with nothing. Definitely let a tutor know that you are feeling overwhelmed. You could perhaps interrupt your studies either now or before the dissertation to give yourself a break. But please don't feel it's a disaster - just ask for help.